Silence is Golden

Chapter 21

I walked behind him out of the park in the evening’s half-light as the tension grew in the air. Why did he have to insist on walking me home? Angry thoughts raced through my head as I followed grumpily kicking at the pavement feeling like a disobedient child.

He doesn’t even realise what he is walking into by taking me home. He thinks he is helping me and looking after me, I know he does but he doesn’t realise what will await me when I get home. My mum will be drunk and fighting with my dad and her ever changing moods will then be turned on me when I walk through the door. I could get anything from ‘oh my baby girl is home’ to ‘where the hell have you been you little freak’. That or she might even start hitting on Eli if she sees him; I'm not sure what would be more embarrassing.

The new but old anger and frustration took over me and I aimed my angry glare at his wide shoulders clad in leather as he walked along in front of me with his hands stuffed in his pockets while I silently fumed. Why the hell does he feel the need to do this! It just makes something inside of me snap and the anger come flooding out. It feels like greeting an old friend after years apart feeling the anger fuel me again. Hot twisting turning frustration clouding my every thought at his behaviour, at being treated this way. I'm not an invalid; I have two perfectly functioning legs so why the hell is he doing this! The need to shout and stamp my feet came over me.

He slowed his pace in front of me and moved slightly to the right so he was walking beside me making me turn my angry glances to the pavement instead of him. I don’t know where the sudden influx of feelings has come from but it’s best if I try not aim my frustration at him. It’s not his fault my body has chosen this moment to begin feeling again, feeling things other than fear. I just don’t want him anywhere near my screwed up life.  

I can feel his questioning gaze on me and I know he won’t let the silence and tension go on much longer, he must be able to feel it in the air between us.

“It’s not safe for you to walk home by yourself” he explained like he was speaking to a three year old.

I raised my head to meet his eyes showing him the contempt on my face.

“It’s not safe” he said firmly running a hand through his messy hair in frustration.

I rolled my eyes at him before turning my gaze away and shaking my head. He thinks this place isn’t safe? He thinks it holds danger to poor little defenceless girls like me, if only he knew where I used to live and how unsafe that place truly was. If only he knew then he would see how this place holds no real danger, this is practically a nunnery in comparison.

Eli stopped walking forcing me to do the same and turned to face me with his arms crossed over his chest watching me closely.

“Where’s this sudden fire in you come from?” he asked intensely reaching out to grip my chin between his strong fingers and staring deep into my eyes searching for something.

I don’t know but I wish it would piss off I said to myself silently.

His sudden closeness not giving me enough time to step back leaving me stuck in his gaze with his hand causing heat to spread through me from his touch. I feel nothing but heat from his grip on me and his gaze, no fear or repulsion just heat spreading through me like a wildfire keeping me locked in place loosing myself in the depths of his eyes. I could stay like this forever and not care.

A ripped myself from his grip at the thought of that, it scaring me more than being close to him. I shouldn’t want that and he wouldn’t want that, I'm not deserving of that.

I started up walking again making my pace quick to keep a distance between us and get me home as quickly as possible. Hopefully I can ditch him at the end of my road and he won’t have to come near my house. That thought settling my nerves and previous irritation.