Silence is Golden

Chapter 22

He actually did it. He just walked straight out of my life; he says he can’t put up with it here anymore well how the hell does he think I feel? And the worst bit is he didn’t even try and take me with him, he didn’t even ask. How can he do that, I'm his daughter. He’s supposed to protect me and look after me, that’s his job. But then he never has been any good at that, he never got a chance to be any good at because he spent all of his time out of the house to keep away from my mother. His words continued to bounce round in my head echoing over and over.

My mum stumbled back through the door, her make up running down her face and grumbling to herself. I'm going to be the one mothering her not the other way around. I saw the transformation of emotions across her face as she went from sad to angry in seconds.  She stumbled into the kitchen and I heard the cork pop from a bottle of wine.  There’s something worse than my mum angry it’s my mum drunk and angry. And he left me to deal with this.

I don’t know how long I sat there listening to my mother stumble around on her broken leg and swear about my father as she went through countless bottles of wine before passing out in a heap on the kitchen floor with her face resting against the kitchen cupboard but eventually the morning light glinting through the glass panes in the top of the door brought me back to my senses.

I got to my feet and shuffled into the kitchen to see my mother still in the same place from last night. The side of her face pressed up against the cupboard, her legs splayed out in front of her and a bottle of wine resting beside her limp hand. With a heavy heart and the premonition that I would be doing this multiple times in the months to come I picked up the bottle of wine and placed it on the table before heading to the living room. I pulled a cushion from the sofa and returned to the still prone form that is my mother placing the cushion on the floor. With some strategic pushing and rearranging I managed to get her lying on her side with her head resting on the cushion. Satisfied with my work I glanced up at the clock, time to get ready for school.

I stared at my reflection in the bathroom mirror before giving up on the half-hearted thoughts of making myself look presentable. My clothes no longer fit me properly due to all the weight I have lost over the last few months and my empty haunted eyes are surrounded by pale skin and the tell-tale signs of many sleepless nights. And no amount of makeup can hide the scar I will carry it as a constant reminder, not that I could ever forget. I pulled on a clean set of clothes and headed downstairs to check on my mum once more before leaving, she was still laying where I left her so I hurried on to school looking for a way to block out last night’s events.

All day I treated it like a bad dream pretending that everything would be back to normal when I got home. I shoved it to the back of my mind like a hazy memory and acted like yesterday never happened. I took no notice of my teachers or classes I simply reverted in on myself into my daydream world. As I didn’t have English I didn’t need to worry about seeing Eli and him questioning me like he always seems to love doing. I did spot his broad shoulders heading toward me in the corridor at one point and could have sworn I heard him call my name out when I slipped away using the normally terrifying crowds as my shield against his questioning gaze.

I left the school ground quickly at the end of the day and hurried home to find unfamiliar cars parked in the driveway. Panic quickly set in as a hundred different questions fired off in my mind about whoever they are. Tentatively I approached the front door and listened carefully; from inside I could hear loud obnoxious laughter.  Being as quiet as possible I pushed down the handle and pushed the door open just enough to allow me to slip inside. Shutting it quickly behind myself I hurried to the staircase. The noise seemed to be coming from the living room and I could pick up my mother’s distinct slurred speech from amongst the tirade of voices and drunken laughter.