Wild Space

♥15♥

If this was how it is to feel like being dead, then I would have done this long before. Everything is in a sense of euphoria. A white surrounding; a white feeling, something like bliss; I feel as if bliss has captured me and was dragging me away to someplace far. White light bulbs shot out in sporadic beat and I wondered what it was. Nonetheless, the tranquility soothed me, something which I have never felt in a very long time.

But; I don't remember anything. Who am I? Where am I being taken to? What is really happening? Anything!

I can hear murmurs. I can hear people talking. Is this how heaven is supposed to be? What is really happening?

After a while, I felt my whole body jerking to a sudden halt and felt like I was being dropped. What? The feeling of going downward scared me and made me laugh. I laughed. I really laughed, because it also felt funny. I was suddenly very anxious, scared even; because... I couldn't hear my own laughter. Is that normal?

When the feeling of being dropped and not hearing my own laughter vanished into the past, I felt the white calmness surrounding me again; and the sporadic flashlights. I think the angels are snapping pictures of me. That made me smile. At least, someone cares about me.

Slowly, I felt the change in temperature and light. Everything was smooth and calm now. The light was not flashy and bright, it was soft and dim. The temperature was not cold, it was comfortable.

The feeling of being caressed by something smooth, actually made me smile again, because I don't remember the last time I was being caressed, petted, appreciated or loved. But, it all changed when the sting of something burned where the caressing was felt. I hate that stupid insect now.

Once, again, I was dropped into the darkness. That is where I am always insecure.

Opening my eyes felt like a herculean task. But, I managed. And it burned my eyes to even look at the dim atmosphere. An incessant slow beep irritated me and I could see the machine which looked something like that we see in the movies. I shot up from my bed. There was an IV connecting to my hands. There was something else connected to my sides. My side hurt. My right side burned and prickled and itched and ached. When I tried to get out; I yelped softly which instantly alerted someone in the room. A soft rustling made me look curiously to the left foot side of the bed. I thought it might be Tom. But I was quite surprised to see Stephen looking at me as if I was a lion ready to pounce on him.

"You are awake. The sedatives were meant to keep you asleep longer." He said in his cute groggy voice while rubbing his eyes and yawning loudly.

"Sedatives...?"

"You don't remember anything?" he sighed a slow painful sigh. "Lucky that he was drunk and you were only grazed by that stupid bullet; otherwise, I don't know... What if you were actually shot? Huh! What will happen then?" he was suddenly angry. Whoa! What did I do now?

In the groggiest sense of myself, I was looking at him with scrunched eyebrows and a frown. But, my comeback was ready. "Why do you even care?" I don't want to know about bullets, why I am here and all. I just want to know why he cared all of a sudden.

He slumped in the seat and ran a hand through his face. I saw slight stubble in the dim light along with the street light coming from the outside. Apparently, he hasn't closed the curtains.

"You didn't close the blinds. You never sleep with blinds open." I stated. And he looked at me shocked from the windows. Must be because he wondered how can I even remember that? It was something he shared with me when he was so young. When we were young! He looked down at his shoes and looked at me again. "I couldn't. Then I will sleep and will never know if you woke up or not. The lights didn't help me sleep. It actually kept me... half awake."