Supernatural Imagines

88. update no. 11 | it's not an option

Hello. This is Liz, the other writer in this book (if you weren't aware that there was two writers). I know that this book has collected a fair amount of dust in the past few months due to inactivity. My apologies about that. But recently, as every one of you and your mothers know, the most polarizing Netflix show came out, 13 Reasons Why. I would love to discuss with you how greatly written it was, but that is not why I'm here.

I'm in high school. I have friends, many in fact, who all are too insensitive to understand the impact shows like this have on people. They constantly make jokes like:

Chipotle Employee: Guac is an extra $.79.

Me: Welcome to your tape.

And while these memes are sometimes way too relatable, they have such a dark, overarching theme that nobody seems to see. It's not the joke that bothers me, it is the usage of "welcome to your tape". That phrase was not meant to say "since you're charging me more for guac, you're the reason I killed myself". And, people will say things like "end yourself," or "that makes me suicidal," or "I'm going to kill myself". And I want to say I'm innocent, but I have done it myself. And, for me, I've found that it wasn't because I'm a dense, vacuous person. It's because I was uneducated. And that is where everyone falls short.

It is so hard to understand how small things you do can totally change how people act or live. Sometimes, it seems like suicide is such an alienated topic. But, it is everywhere. Saying "end yourself" might not be important or life-changing to you. Unfortunately though, for other people, it makes suicide sounds easy or simple. And that is what I love about 13 Reasons Why. ***Spoiler Alert***, when Hannah kills herself, you can tell that this isn't your one-way ticket out, it isn't easy or simple.

Suicide is not an option.

Please read these next lines if you are, or feeling like you might be, suicidal.

1. Know that people do get through this; even people who feel as badly as you are feeling now... Statistically, there is a very good chance that you are going to live. Maybe, this gives you a sense of hope.

2. Give yourself some distance. Say to yourself, "I will wait 24 hours before I do anything," or a week. Remember that feelings and actions are two different things; just because you feel like killing yourself, doesn't mean that you need to do it right this minute. Put some distance between your suicidal feelings and suicidal action, even if it's just 24 hours. You have already done it for 5 minutes, just by reading this page. You can do it for another 5 minutes by continuing to read. Keep going, and realize that while you still feel suicidal, you are not, at this moment, acting on it.

3. People often turn to suicide because they are seeking relief from pain. Remember that relief is a feeling and you have to be alive to feel it. You will not feel the relief you so desperately seek if you are dead.

4. Some people will react badly to your suicidal feelings, either because they are frightened or angry; they may actually increase your pain instead of helping you, despite their intentions, by saying or doing thoughtless things. You have to understand that their bad reactions are about their fears, not about you.

5. But there are people out there who can be with you in this horrible time and will not judge you, argue with you, send you to a hospital, or try to talk you out of how badly you feel. They will simply care for you. Find someone, now. Use the 24 hours, or week, or month that you've given yourself to find somebody to talk about what is going on. It is okay to ask for help.

Since their are so many countries in the world, the amount of research it would require from me to look up suicide prevention numbers is overwhelming. So, look up a suicide prevention hotline for your country and I'm sure that you will find one.

But don't give yourself the additional burden of trying to deal with this alone. Just talking about how you got to where you are releases an awful lot of the pressure. And, it might be the additional coping resource you needed to regain your balance.

6. And lastly, suicidal feelings are, in and of themselves, traumatic. After they subside, you need to continue caring for yourself. Therapy is a very good idea. So are the various self-help groups available both in your community and on the internet.

Truly, if you ever need to talk, please message this account. Kay or I will be there for you as soon as we see the message.