The Temporary Virginity of the American Player

13. What Is It With Girls and Stuffed Animals?

Classes were a breeze. Not to brag or anything, but it was just as easy as it had been in high school. I was pretty good in high school, and my skill was channeling into my college classes. They weren’t hard at the slightest, and I only had to go to three today. Each class lasted a good hour to hour and a half, but I had only my general courses to handle today.

I fired up my grand old Firebird and slithered out onto the main drag, trying not to hit anyone on campus. People were stupid; they were like geese, just waddling out in the middle of the road with an attitude like, “You mad, bro?” As a matter of fact, I was. I would have loved to bounce them off of the hood of my car, but that would be illegal and I wasn’t about to get arrested. Again.

When I got back to the apartment, Johnny was on the phone with someone. Johnny on the phone was a sacred event, and I wasn’t about to break that. I shut myself up in my room and turned on the radio on my dresser, flopping down on my bed immediately. To my surprise and horror, Norah Jones came on the radio with some song about chasing pirates.

Huh.

As if on cue, the song sent a violent vibration in my pants. Don’t worry. Just my cell phone. Ah, and the magic of Caller ID.

“Nick Nolte’s whorehouse. You got the dough, we got the hoe.”

“Very cute,” Lena’s voice sounded, and I snickered. “Wipe that grin off your face; I can see it over the phone.”

“Are you calling to put a dent in my day?”

“No, actually. I was calling with a proposition, but seeing you want to be an ass about it….”

“Lay it on me, CG.”

“Lane and I decided to hit the boardwalk and ride some rides…maybe go to the beach afterwards.  I just got off of work and I’m gonna hop in the shower before we go, but we were wondering if you and your friends wanna come with us.”

“You’re inviting my friends to the boardwalk. Tell me, have you met my friends?”

“Well, at least bring Johnny. It might be fun. And since you want us to get to know each other, it might be a good opportunity to hang out.”

“That sounds good,” I nodded, as if she could see me over the phone. “Hey, um…Johnny doesn’t know that you know about this whole bet thing. I’d really appreciate it if you didn’t let on you have any idea about all this.”

“You mean he doesn’t want me to know?”

“Would you want a guy to know you made a bet with your girlfriend that she…you know what, screw it. Want us to meet you at your place?”

“Yeah. I might still be getting ready when you guys get here, but Lane will be there to let you in. Feel free to play him on the X-Box.”

“Sounds good to me. I’ll be over with Johnny and maybe Joe in a few.”