The Temporary Virginity of the American Player

14. Celine Dion and Elevators Don't Mix.

Five hours at the boardwalk flew by like five minutes at Chuck E. Cheese. We crammed in as many rides as we could, jumping on everything from the coaster to the Ferris Wheel to Joe’s back demanding a piggy-back ride. We all gorged ourselves with hotdogs, popsicles, ice cream, dip n’ dots, fried twinkies, and a complimentary snow-cone from Lena for winning her the obese stuffed panda, which she had shamelessly lugged all the way back to her cousin’s car, along with a stuffed pink dragon (courtesy of Johnny), and a caricature of Joe as Jesus (just what every girl dreamed of, right?).

We were all high on energy and dead with exhaustion by the time we ditched the boardwalk and made for the beach.  I flopped down in the sand while the J’s and Lena stripped down to their bathing suits. As soon as Lena waded out far enough, Joe tackled her further out. Johnny swam out after them in an attempt to save his future date from an untimely death , and Lane yawned and sat down beside me to stay out of the fight starting up in the water.

“I feel like a dead walrus,” I moaned, rolling over on my stomach.

“Not alone, buddy,” he said, slapping my shoulder. “Good job today, though. Not that I’m glad my little cousin has another panda, but she might have strangled the attendee if you hadn’t of won it.”

“She likes pandas, huh?”

“At first I thought it was just a phase,” he said slowly, watching his little cousin giggle and splash Johnny as he playfully lunged after her. “Must be a girl thing, I don’t know.  Anyway, it’s nice to see her having some fun. That what I like to see.”

“Isn’t it kind of usual for Lena to have a good time with anything?”

“It was,” he commented, drawing a lopsided peace sign in the sand. “I mean, since her last break-up, she’s been a little down. I love seeing her loosen up like this.”

“Travis? Yeah, she told me about that.”

“Yeah? That’s weird…she usually doesn’t talk about him.”

“She told me about him cheating on her.”

“Did she tell you the whole story?”

“Whole story?”

“Travis wasn’t just cheating on her. He was cheating on her with her best friend, Jennifer. And she actually caught them in the act; can you believe it? Walked right on into it. Travis flipped out and so did she; they had the biggest yelling match ever, according to Lena. He called her every name in the book and she punched him in the face and broke his nose, to which point he screamed at her, trashed the bedroom, took her clothes and threw them out of the window, and stole her purse before leaving. Lena called me crying and I came to pick her up; we called the cops on Travis to get her purse back. We got it back a few days later, after he ran up thousands of dollars in credit card debt. Lena didn’t press any charges; said he wasn’t worth the trouble. She got about fifteen harassment calls, some cussing her out and other begging her to come back. Luckily, she decided not to get back with the guy. She moved in with me and she’s been living with me since. We’ve run into him a couple times; neither encounter’s been a pleasant one. He’s just a piece of trash. Hard to believe that happened only a few months ago.”

“I didn’t know it was that bad,” I said quietly.

“I’m guessing she gave you the edited version.”

“Yeah, she did.”

“She’ll kill me for telling…but I guess you can know. Just don’t bring it up around her, OK? I kind of like living, and believe me when I say that my little cousin knows how to pack a punch.”