Shadow of the Past (Captain America) // ✔️ //

Chapter 9: False Safety

She was warm and comfortable, which she hadn't felt in a long time. Antonia felt safe sleeping in what had to be a bed, as no couch was this comfortable though some of her couches in her labs could compete. She hadn't felt this way in a long time. Even after she had let the Avengers in, she hadn't felt like this. She couldn't really be herself around them as she felt like they were always judging her. She knew she could be imagining it all, but she had seen theirs eyes. She had seen Rogers' eyes, which could always shoot right through her.

"Sleep headache," she muttered to herself. "I must've slept too long." She laughed as she thought about her sleeping patterns. Usually, she never slept this much, only having about 4 hours of sleep a night if that. She had been yelled at so many times about it by every single Avenger and...Pepper. Antonia would rather face each Avenger and even Loki than face an angry Pepper.

Slowly opening her eyes, Antonia played with the idea that this whole time traveling thing was just a nightmare, but she knew that wasn't the case. As soon as she opened her eyes, she knew she was still living in this nightmare. Yes, she considered this situation to be a total nightmare. She wouldn't call this her worst fear, but it was one of her fears. She was totally alone with no idea of how to get back. For once in her life, her brain was letting her down.

She grimaced as she pushed herself up into a sitting position with her good arm. It was difficult because she was in some extreme pain. "I need meds," she told to herself. She didn't like that because she didn't want to get addicted to that stuff, which could happen if she took too much. "Stupid arm," she muttered. "Can I just crop it off? Who needs an arm?"

Antonia kicked the blankets off her and swung her feet off the bed. "Wait, why am I in a bed?" She remembered leaving the apartment, while Barnes and Rogers argued over her. Usually, she didn't mind when men fought over her, but she didn't like that they were fighting over her. They were best friends. She closed her eyes, trying to remember what happened. "Oh, I was sitting down in the lobby, when I fell asleep. They must've come across me. URGH!" She shook her head as she remembered Barnes kneeing beside her. "I so need to get out of here." She wondered for a second as to why he brought her back. Barnes didn't even want her here to begin with and she didn't blame him.

"This rooms so needs a makeover," she stated, taking a long look around. Nothing in the room really matched, and it all looked like it came from a junk yard. "...Wait, is this Rogers' room?" Was Rogers in the lobby as well? She didn't see him but he must've been if she ended up in his room. Why did they have to put her in his room? And where did he sleep? He must've slept in the couch like a little champ. Did he just want to show the world that he was perfect? "Rogers," she muttered, annoyed. She knew she was judging him with a bias opinion, but she didn't want to see him as any other way. In her eyes, he couldn't just be a nice guy, who generally cared about her. He had to be the know-it-all bastard, who had to point out everything that she did done wrong. He had to be an egoist asshole, who had to save someone every single day. "Stupid, Rogers."

However, she had to give it to Rogers: he knew how to make a room comfortable. His room had a homely feeling that her tower so dearly missed. He had more pictures in this one room than she did in her whole tower and that was saying something. "He looks happy," she said, picking up a photo of him and, who she assumed to be, his parents. They looked like one big happy family, and that annoyed Antonia, who slammed the photo down a little too hard. The glass shattered. "Shit," she muttered, feeling like an idiot.

She tried to fit the broken glass back into the frame, though it was pointless. He would surely notice...though he would probably say it was nothing even if it was. It was something he did just to avoid hurting her feelings. Again, that annoyed her. Why did he have to be so perfect?! "Why do you always lose your temper, Stark?" she asked herself, knowing that she wasn't perfect at all. Why was she jealous of Rogers? "Because..." Antonia took a deep breath as she closed her eyes. He had everything. He had a loving family and the respect that she dreamt of. There was also the fact that he got the attention from her father that she always wanted. He was everything her father wanted, while she was nothing. He had a whole nation that loved him, while she had a whole nation that wanted to see her fail. How did he get to be so lucky?