Shadow of the Past (Captain America) // ✔️ //

Chapter 28: Rising Guilt

Antonia didn't know when she came to as it was a never ending nightmare to her. Even in her drug induced coma, the nightmares didn't stop and seemed to tire her out even more. Sure, she felt somewhat rested, but it felt like she hadn't slept in days. When she came to, she just blinked for a few seconds as she stared up at the ceiling.

Her body felt stiff and heavy, taking everything she had to move. Antonia groaned softly as she pushed herself up using her elbows. She paused, being out of breath, and rested on her elbows. She struggled to keep herself up, but the cold air felt nice against her skin. She felt like she was on fire, like she was going to burst from the heat.

Unable to hold herself up anymore, she fell back onto the hard bed and reminded like that for a few minutes before she kicked her feet. She had to get the itchy, heavy blanket off. Leave to them to give me an itchy blanket, she thought to herself as the blanket fell to the ground. It was like she could breathe again as it fell.

For a while, Antonia just laid there as she stared at the ceiling mindlessly, not paying attention to anything besides the dirty ceiling. The only thing in her mind was the cool breeze of air hitting her, reminding her that she was still alive. When she was in the coma, she had thought she was dead and had gone to hell, which was where she thought she belonged. She had sat back and allowed two people she cared about to die or be hurt. She allowed everyone to suffer, because she did nothing. She did nothing when Rogers came to her in tears, sobbing over the death of his best friend. She was the reason why he was hurting and why Peggy was hurting. She knew where Rogers was. She knew he was still live-frozen but alive-, and she did nothing. All she did was whine and drown in own guilt.

Starks are good at the guilty trip, she thought with a deep breath. She closed her eyes and took another deep breath, trying to relax. She was a Stark, and they didn't (or rather not supposed to) let people see them sweat. She had an image to protect and that did not involve looking weak, which was what was happening.

"T-oni."

Said genius flinched at the sound of her name, realizing that she wasn't alone. She slowly pushed herself up onto her elbow again and turned toward the voice. Struggling to remain up, her eyes twitched as she noticed her father sleeping awkwardly in a small arm chair. He was leaning back with his elbow bent so he could use the back of his hand as a head rest.

For some time, Antonia just watched him sleep, looking for any sort of movement or clue that he was going to wake up. She found herself wondering how long her father had been sleeping at her bed side. Had he been here the whole time that she had been out? He couldn't have been there the whole time, right? That was not the father she remembered growing up, but then again, she had been learning that since she arrived in this time. This was not her father.

And though she hated to admit it, it warmed her heart to see him there. She could imagine him sitting at her bedside, even if he never had. She could imagine this man doing a lot of fatherly things, unlike the man she grew up with. However, she didn't have time to ponder that. She had to get out of here and back to her time, where she hoped would free her from the nightmares. Moving slowly, she swung her feet over the bed and pushed herself to her feet. She wobbled for a minute before gaining her balance.

To Antonia's joy, she wasn't wearing a hospital grown, though she wasn't wearing shoes. Trying to be as quiet as she could, she looked for her boots; however, with each step she took, she thought her father was going to wake up. The man she knew was a light sleeper, and she always had a bad habit of waking him up when she was a child... which he hated. He was a beast when awoke.

A beast.

Shaking her head, the genius focused on finding her shoes, which wasn't too hard to find. They were at the end of the hospital bed, but as she reached for them, the door to the room creeped open. Ignoring her fear, her third thought was that it was Colonel Phillips, coming to yell at her, but the footsteps were too light to belong to him.