Shadow of the Past (Captain America) // ✔️ //

Chapter 21: The Anchor

Steve Rogers was a great many things but he wasn't a fool in any sense of the word. He was smarted, even before the serum; however, at the moment, he doubted his intelligence. His mind kept playing tricks on him and he found himself filled worry, fear and stupidity, which he hadn't felt in a while. Missions could not keep his mind off everything that was happening, though he had to admit that he really didn't know what was happening. And that just made anything worse: the not knowing. Fury didn't tell them anything besides the fact that items were stolen from Black Hawk and they had the ability to disrupt Antonia's equipment. He was being very secretive and Steve couldn't help but think that was a bad sign. He had to be hiding something... though he shouldn't find that surprising. Fury was a spy after all.

Each time Steve even thought about asking, Fury sent him on a mission, barely telling him anything. He kept insisting that it wasn't important for him to know and that infuriated Steve to no end. Not only didn't that not settle his mind, it made him push harder. It made him lean harder on Fury, though he knew that man would never spill anything. That man was good at keeping secrets.

Shaking his head, Steve unclicked his seatbelt and kept his head low as he stepped out of the helicopter onto the helipad at Stark Tower, which he hadn't left except for missions. The propeller created wind batted him as he stepped away. Once he was a safe distance away, he stood up straight and turned back, watching the helicopter take off. "I don't trust Fury."

"He doesn't trust you either, if it matters," said Natasha, who was standing a few feet from him. She had gone on the last mission with Steve and followed every commander, but unlike him, she didn't question Fury.

"Do you trust Fury?"

She stepped away from him, toward the building's entrance. "I trust no one," she admitted.

He watched her walk away from him, but in his mind, he was watching Antonia walking away from him. It was a mystery to him why he was envisioning Antonia as Antonia and Natasha looked nothing alike. Sure they were roughly the same height at five foot three inches though Antonia could've been an inch or two shorter, but their shapes were different. Natasha was a curvier than Antonia. Plus, Antonia's dark hair, even when she had it up in a messy bun, attracted him every time.

When Natasha reached the door, she turned to him, studying the silent Rogers. "What set you off this time?" she asked.

Steve disliked that she knew him so well after a short amount of time, and when did he space out so much that it became expected of him? "It's nothing."

He took a deep breath as he tried to force out the image in his head. The image of Antonia walking away from him and Bucky following after her haunted him. Though it wasn't importance now, he hated that Bucky became the person she turned to. Back in the old crummy apartment, it was him, but was the only reason she turned to him was because he was the only person there? No, that couldn't have been it. He had felt the connection between them. So what changed? Besides him becoming Captain America... Was that the reason? Did he lose her the second that he became that?

He remembered watching her leave and the intense urge to go after her. He would have if it wasn't for Peggy, who held him back with a single look. Though he didn't like it, he knew it was the right thing to do, because talking to an angry Antonia was a very bad idea. Instead, he had to watch his best friend go after the woman of his dreams as he fought down his jealousy.

"Earth to Rogers. Is everything okay in that head of yours?"

Steve snapped out of his thoughts and focused on Natasha, who was staring at him like he was a child. "I'm fine," he said. "Why don't we go in?" He waved toward the door, feeling a few water droplets on him. It was about to rain, and it was going to rain hard.