Shadow of the Past (Captain America) // ✔️ //

Chapter 16: Ensnaring Memories

Once again, Steve could be found drawing, and once again, it was a drawing of Antonia. No matter what he did or how much time had passed, he couldn't get her off his mind, and it was bugging him. How could she still be on his mind after all of this time? She had left him...well not left him. That would apply that there was something between them and there wasn't. They were just friends...No, he wasn't even sure about that, because no friend would do what she did. Antonia left with no notice, no good bye, no anything. How could she just get up and go? Did she not care enough to say bye? He just needed a good bye. He might not have liked it, but he would have accepted it. Why didn't she?

Or maybe, something happened to her? Maybe, she was hurt? Maybe, she was dead? Steve didn't like those idea whatsoever, and his stomach jumped as he thought about it. If something did happen to her, he would hunt down the bastard and... Steve shook his head as he tried to rid himself of that thought. Why was he acting like this? Yes, they were close (though it all could've been a lie), but did he...? Could he say it? Was he? How could he be?

Steve took a deep breath as he stared at a sketch of Antonia, which looked lifelike. His sketchbook was filled with lifelike pictures of her as he kept drawing her in the hope of working her out of his mind. He had tried focusing on other women, but not only did that feel wrong, none of the women attracted him. They weren't interested in him; they just want to be with Captain America.

What touched or attracted him to Antonia or even Peggy, who he had found himself thinking about as well, was the fact that they saw him, though they both saw him differently. Antonia, who hadn't seen him like this, had saw him as him, and being where he was now, he couldn't get pass that. He wanted that, but he doubted that she would want that. She, who didn't seem like the type to settle down, wouldn't even want him anyways. Why would she? He wasn't stupid; he knew he was too naïve her. Plus, there was also the fact that she left, a clear sign she didn't like or care about him. So the question was: did she really see him as him?

The glorified super show boy took a deep breath as he thought about their time together. He remembered all of the time she had spent trying to put a smile on his face. He had to give it to her: she was the goofiest person he had ever met; she didn't understand what the word normal meant. He couldn't count all of the times that she had driven him crazy, but it didn't bother him. In fact, he enjoyed her craziness; he wanted to experience her craziness. Those were warming moments for him. He took another deep breath as he thought about all the moments that led to him falling in love with her. There were so many moments.

There were numerous times during the middle of the nights that she had come bouncing into his room with some annoyingly cute comment, waking him up. Annoyed at first, Steve looked forward to her smiley and energetic face. Though he wished he could sleep more, he enjoyed seeing how bouncy she was. Yes, bouncy. She was bouncy, and to hear her speak, he could listen for hours. She was a philosopher.

At first, she had just paced in her (Well Bucky's) room, when she had been unable to sleep. She was quiet and unnoticeable, but one night when he got up to go to the restroom, he noticed her, and for the next week, he made sure to pay attention. Without fault, she got up every single night, and he could tell how defeated she was just by listening to her steps. Unsure of what to do, he laid in bed, listening to her. Near the end of the first week, he couldn't listen to her anymore and got up to check on her. He knew most likely that he would say something stupid or made her mad, but he just couldn't do nothing.

On that night, he had stood in the doorway for a while as he had tried to think of what to say. The door had been slightly open, and he had been able to look in. The state of Antonia had worried him, but he could only watch her as she had paced across the room. She had looked totally defeated and exhausted, which was a different side to her. Most of the time, Antonia had her cocky side up, and though he hated to see her like this, it had been refreshing to see another side of her.