ALANA'S MISTAKE ✔

Chapter 28

The next morning Alana woke up in a cold sweat, her hair stuck to her face, plastered in perspiration, her insides still churning, her hands still unsteady. She had hardly slept at all. Every little noise in the house made her jump and she had crept in to check on Snow, tucked up in bed with her curls hanging out of the top of the duvet, at least twenty times.

Elias had walked off in the end, much to her relief, and she had watched him walk down the street through the window after she had come into the house. But there was something about the way he had suddenly turned up with his band mates at the bar. Had he known she would be there? She shuddered. How had he got to her house so fast after she had got into the taxi?

Then there's Riley. Did she stay with the rest of Silence all night? Are they just as mad as their lead singer is? Somehow she doubted they were. Elias seemed to her to be utterly unique, the kind of guy that isn't replicated easily. She had certainly never met anyone who would act the way he acts before. How could he possibly think there was any future for them?

She turned onto her back, her head sinking into the pillow and stared at the white ceiling, tracing the fancy patterns of coving around the sides with her eyes. There was Noah lying fast asleep, his arm above his head, his eyes shut, his chest rising and falling ever so slightly.

She did not know to do. The thought of losing her husband because of that one night sent her whole body into extreme discomfort. Her stomach flew into knots, her palms sweated and her head began to swim. The thought of him knowing what she had done, knowing that she had been with another guy ... It was unforgivable. She could never blame him for wanting to leave her. But then what about Snow, their family? That thought actually drove her from her bed and into the bathroom to sit down on the floor next to the toilet and be sick.

As she wiped her face with a bunch of lilly-fragranced tissues she heard a soft knock on the door.

'Can I come in?' said Noah gently.

'Yes,' she said. 'Come in.'

He nudged open the door and saw her there, crumpled up on the floor, her face pale as milk and her hands shaking a little. He took her dressing gown from the back of the door and wrapped the pink fluffiness around her, kneeling next to her.

'You're shivering,' he said. 'Baby, what's wrong?'

She fell forwards into his arms, letting him hug her. She stayed quiet, leaning her head against his chest. If he knew, if he only knew what I've got myself into ... He leaned down and pulled her chin upwards so that they looked each other in the eye.

'Are you ok?' he said, his face full of love and concern.

I could tell him, right now. I could just tell him everything - that night, Elias, the letters, the phone calls, him sabotaging my exhibition space, last night. But then what? She kept imagining the look on Noah's face. The hurt he would feel. The loss. The stabbing loss. She knew something of what that would feel like now, being so close herself to losing everything that means anything in her life. Her stroked her hair and she looked back at him as cheerfully as she could.

'I'm all right,' she said. 'Just a big night with Riley, you know? I'll be back to normal after one of your breakfasts.'

He gave her a look - full of love but also edged with  questioning, like he knew there was more but he wasn't going to push it. That would be typical of Noah, in fact it was always one of the things that used to frustrate her - that he wouldn't ever push a conversation, sometimes leaving things unsaid that really should be said. But right now she could only go along with it, and to keep on pretending there was nothing going on. 

If you liked this chapter then please don't forget to vote! Also, your feedback is very welcome too, I always try to answer.