ALANA'S MISTAKE ✔

Chapter 16

There had been no calls or messages on her phone since Alana had last seen Elias in hospital. He had been stable when she left, sat up in bed, his eyes resting on her continuously. She'd felt bad, to leave him there, alone, in that sterile, strange-smelling place with doctors and nurses moving around and other patients lying quietly in their beds. But she had to leave. She had no part to play in his life any longer.

She could not understand what could drive him to want to take his own life. Part of her couldn't help wondering if he had tried something like this before. Whenever she looked into his eyes now, she saw a kind of sadness there, like he had lost something and all he wanted to do was find it again.

When she had asked about his parents he had answered her in a lifeless, monotone way. He had looked away from her when he spoke and told her that his parents weren't here, that they were dead. His mother had been gone nearly all his life and his father passed away a few years ago.

In that moment, she had felt sorry for him. That first night she'd seen him up on that stage, owning the entire room, baring his heart as he sang, there was no way she could have ever guessed how things really were for him. Or the night in the pub, then he had been so full of life, brimming with it but now, it was like all the spirit was drained from him.

She reached over to her bedside cabinet and checked her phone for the thousandth time that night. She sighed with relief as she saw no messages, or calls. She only hoped now that for his sake he sorted himself out, however that might be done. She placed the phone back on the bedside cabinet and snuggled underneath her covers.

It was late and Snow was tucked up in bed. Alana took the opportunity to luxuriate under the soft, creamy covers. Her pillow was so fluffy it felt like she were lying her head down on a cloud. As she let in a long breath Noah came into the room, wearing his enormous dressing gown, his hair wet from the shower. He came over to the bed and sat on the side, right next to her, his large body towering over her.

'How are you, sweetie?' he said.

He reached down to stroke her hair as she looked up at him from where she lay.

'I'm fine.'

'Yeah?' he said, standing up again, taking off the dressing gown and hanging it up behind the door. 'Because I couldn't help thinking you seemed a little off since we came back from the trip.'

'A little off?'

He turned around, now wearing only a tight black pair of boxer shorts.

'Yeah, I don't know, not quite yourself.'

Oh god. Does he know? She shrugged, as casually as she could. Can he see how awkward I am right now?

'I've had a slight cold, that's all. A little under the weather.'

He slipped into bed.

'A little under the weather, huh?'

He came right next to her, nuzzling his face into her neck.

'Maybe I can help you to get on top of the weather again...'

She couldn't help giggling at that. His body slid next to hers, his wide arms wrapping around her. She loved the feel of his skin next to hers, the feel of his muscles against her, warm and secure; this was home to her. As they lay tight in each others arms she couldn't stop her thoughts... How could I have risked this? Why did I need that night with Elias to realise what I already have? If she could have kicked herself in that moment, she would have.

But it was done now, in the past. All she could do was be the best wife, the best mother she could possibly be. There were no doubts any more, no thoughts of who was having more fun than she was. The answer was, probably no one.

'I didn't quite understand the whole "women's issue" with Riley? What's wrong with her?'

'Oh that? She's just having trouble with Duke.'

He nibbled on her ear.

'So much that you had to rush out the house?'

She was quiet for a moment, then:

'You know what she's like, she was panicking about him, thinking he was dumping her. He wasn't, I mean, it turns out they're not breaking up. But she thought they were. It's complicated, it always is with her.'

Poor Riley, taking the blame. He nodded and leaned his head on his hand so he could see her better.

'You look beautiful,' he said. 'The light on your face, you're so dreamy.'

He broke out into a smile and leaned forward. She let herself melt against him as he lifted her chin gently towards him and their lips met.