Kellard- A Gerard Way and Kellin Quinn fanfiction

You'll be okay (I promise)

Gerard's P.O.V

I waited. And waited. Legs shaking and eyes swimming in tears. I waited for any sign that he was okay. 60 pills. Fuck, he must've really wanted to die. And it was my goddamn fault! I wanted to scream from the rooftops that I was basically a murderer and I wanted to punch the wall until all the bones in my arms and hands shattered into a billion pieces.

I couldn't begin to explain the guilt that was eating me alive like those weird flesh eating bacteria that you see on health channel programs. Yes, that didn't come off exactly how I planned.

You know what else pissed me off? How everyone said I was 'the reason he was alive' and that 'if I hadn't found him, he'd be dead'. No, if I'd never met him, he wouldn't be even attempting death. Why did I kick him out of my bed? Why did I not man up and attempt to tell everyone like he was willing to do for me? I couldn't even comprehend how much he meant to me and I'd already nearly lost him. I vowed that when he woke up I would be the first to go see him and tell him exactly how I felt. I wouldn't be ashamed anymore.

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When the doctors finally said I could go into his room I practically sprinted into the chair next to his bed. I gently took his hand and looked up at his limp body that was attached to countless wires and contraptions. He looked deathly pale but probably the most peaceful and worry-free I'd ever seen him. I promised myself I'd see him that happy and peaceful again at some point. I would make him the happiest man even if it killed me.

I linked my fingers with his and gently stroked the back of his hand, running my calloused fingers over his knuckles. The faint warmth I could feel radiating into my own hand made me hopeful that everything would be okay. And it would, I reminded myself. I leaned my head down onto the bed, all the emotions swirling through me getting the better of me. I let a sob escape my lips.

I looked up at his beautiful face and gently swiped his hair out of his face.

"You'll never feel this bad again because of me. I promise."

At this point I had tears streaming down my face. His warm breath caressed my face and I smiled halfheartedly.

" I won't lose you." I vowed to him.

And I wouldn't lose him.

A/N- I literally can't apologise enough. I kept putting this off because I didn't know what point I wanted to carry on from, but now I'm getting back into writing and stuff so I s2g I'll start updating regularly. I love every single one of you that reads this and I apologise for my terrible grammar and lack of imagination and originality in advance, but I sincerely hope you enjoy this.