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5|One Mom

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"Why should I?" There was no reason to be back to him. He could see she no more wants to be, but there was a part of him selfishly yearned for her. Maybe he does not deserve her, but he would care less; he loved her. "Wistful feelings, Raman." She stressed, gripping the front of his waistcoat tighter. "What you exactly want, I don't get it! You said you loved me, and then said it was regretful, now saying you still love me! What should I believe?" She hissed. "I don't trust you anymore, Raman. I don't want you to break me once again; this's enough."

Hard his hold turned by each seconds, she did not feel anything painful. The physical agony was nothing when the invincible hurt killed her from within. "I want you back. This time for real." He whispered.

"...it was all unreal in the past? I thought it was real...! How stupid of me!" Her words hued in distress, a whine of sarcasm rooted, she freed her quivering body away. "Stop twisting my words. I didn't mean that, Ishita." She heard him restlessly explaining as he moved closer, once again gathering her arms. "You hurt me one way or the other, every time. There was a time I endured you, Raman. I no more have a reason to tolerate a man like you. Why should I? You're not my husband. There're no ties between us. I could be Aditya Raman Bhalla's mother, just his mother, that's it."

"We've a daughter, Ishita." His demeanour deadly when he glared her that could seldom shake her stance. Did she just mock him with her gentle chuckle? He could see the offcuts of derision saturated on her lips. "Don't look at me like that. That wasn't unreal, for your information."

"Don't make me utter more spite, Raman! I've said enough. Now you got to get lost." She gritted, twisting her hand, so that she could step back. He would not leave her that tormented her entire being. "Leave my hand." She groaned; he should back off or he would be slapped across his rude face that she still loved, so cruel her heart is. "I died that day, Raman. I died. So just stop insisting."

"Stop being adamant, Ishita. Give me a chance to repent, please." He beseeched, heaving her closer in his embrace. "Please give me a chance..."

"Don't you understand what I'm saying? I said that Ishita who suffered all your taunts and committed suicide is no more in your life! Mourn for her, but you wouldn't get her back. She doesn't want you because she just does not!" Yelling, she grabbed his collars. "And the daughter about whom you're talking, I don't want her to know who I am and I'm sure you'd never want her to. Let her be happy in the world of lies her cunning father created. Let her be happy with her perfect mother, Shagun Arora! Do not think every time things would come in your way, just because you want it to be. This is not the time you'd get things fixed easily. Nothing about me is going to be easy, Raman!"

"That doesn't mean it's impossible!" He hollered. He could feel his veins breaking inside, bleeding out as he locked his glare into hers, penetratingly. "I regret my words. I regret everything that went wrong. I'm sorry. I know I don't deserve your forgiveness but I don't have anything to say other than apology. Now when I got you, I don't want to lose you again, Ishita. I love you. I love you so much and there wasn't a time I haven't thought about you, cried for you. I love you, damn it. I love you so much that it hurts..."

"Now you don't have me to lose me! You lost me the day you chased me away! You lost me, Raman, so just stop whining for losing something you've never had!" She pushed him off. Landing on his back, on the couch, staggered, he watched her shrinking on the floor. "Why can't you understand this simple thing that I don't love you anymore?" She did not want to let those out but could not restrain. She could not even think of compromising with him anymore. In the past, there was Ruhi, always there to save their relationship. Once she was gone, the entire affair was buried dead. Now, her daughter, Pihu is going to be the one turning her weak. She would not. She would not let him use their daughter to make things appear perfect. He could just pretend but it would never. The cracks would close, but the pain would remain, itching her every passing trice to death. A life with him seemed horrendous than anything.