The Crown: Alternate Ending

Part One

Everything was rushing past me so fast. I had to stop Marid. I had to keep my country out of his power hungry hands. I had to stop thinking about Eikko.
But I couldn't. He was my every thought, my every breath. In my head I was still in the dark of the Women's Room and he was holding me tight and I got to touch him despite everything and everyone around us. Thinking of him was a thrill, and I wished I could meet with him again and look deeply into those blue eyes, clear as the sky.
Still, I had to try. I had to go propose to Kile. I had put too much into this country and becoming queen to quit now.
I stood, composing myself and pushing my thoughts of Eikko as far away as I could.
I flung open my door and almost ran into my mother. Though she wasn't the queen anymore, she still held herself in such a graceful, beautiful way. I hoped I was able to display at least a fraction of her perfection to Illea. She looked positively radiant after just days off. Seeing her this way made me so happy that I almost forgot what I was about to go do.
"Eady! Thank goodness I caught you. Lady Brice just told me you were planning to propose tonight, but that you looked distraught. I thought I should talk to you about it. This is a big decision," she explained. "I thought I might start here." And then she wrapped her arms tightly around me.
I almost broke down then and there, but I held it together knowing I had so little time.
"Thanks Mom, but there's really no time. I have to go propose and then there's things to plan for the report and rings to size and pictures to send..." I tried to say, but she cut me off.
"Eadlyn I want you to hear this. Because I want you to find love out of this, and I don't want to to rush into anything. I thought I'd tell you my love story, or rather, love stories."
I would have tried to shake her off again, but she looked... embarrassed and a little shy. I realized this was probably not a story I'd heard before. She'd loved someone other than dad?
"Alright" I relented, gesturing for her to sit down in my room.
"I'll be as quick as I can sweetheart," she promised.
"When I was fifteen I was living in Carolina at home, as you already know. Grandma and Grandpa Singer were all there, Uncle Kota had just moved out, I was singing or playing piano almost every night, and I was in love."
I did the math in my head. Even though it didn't come easily to me, I knew this person she was in love with was not dad. They didn't meet until she was seventeen.
"The boy that had lived not far from us had stolen my heart, and we met about once a week in the tiny treehouse in my backyard. He was a six and I was a five, and you know Grandma Singer. She always had high aspirations for me and there was no way I was going to be able to marry him because I would have to go down a caste. Still, we met in secret after curfew for two years, and I was more certain than I had been of anything ever before that I was in love. It was thrilling and beautiful, and all I wanted was to be his wife."
She paused for a moment, a kind of bewildered expression taking over her face, as if she couldn't believe that time in her life had been real. I couldn't help but think of Eikko. Hadn't I just been thinking those same thoughts moments ago?
"I was determined to make it happen too," she explained. "I heard from his mother that he had started saving up money, and I mentally prepared myself to do clerical work and leaving singing and playing behind. As long as I had him I could make anything work."
"So what happened?" I asked, still confused as to how I even came to exist.
"The selection happened. He urged me to enter saying he wanted to be sure I had taken every chance for a better life, and, convinced I would never be chosen, I did it. Just before they announced the selection candidates I met with him again making tons of food to show him how much I loved him. Food was sparse at his house and I wanted to make him full for once. He wanted to be the provider though, and he was hurt. He broke up with me that night, and then soon after I was chosen for the selection and was whisked away, my heart broken."
I gaped at my mother. "So you got to the palace and fell in love with dad, completely forgetting about your old boyfriend?" I guessed.
The corners of her lips quirked up a bit playfully. "Not exactly. At first I told your father that there was no way I could fall for him. I even scolded him the first night I was here and accused him of being stuck up. I apologized later of course, but my heart still belonged to the boy back home even though he broke it. I asked dad to keep me at the palace so I could have some time away from him and get money to my family. In exchange, I was first and foremost his friend, and friend alone. I was going to be his inside point of view on all the other girls in the selection."
I shook my head. I was getting the real story of my parents' Selection just minutes before I was going to end my own.
"Eventually though, I started falling for this prince that made me laugh and was the best friend I'd ever had. He was incredibly romantic and convincing, and soon I was a real competitor."
"And then dad chose you and you were in love and you became his queen?" I guessed again.
"Still no," she said laughingly. "My old boyfriend from Carolina came back to the palace, as a guard, and he wanted to get back together."
The gears started turning in my head, sure this was significant, but I didn't quite know why yet.
"We dated in secret at the palace for a while, but I dated your dad at the same time. Some days I was wholly the prince's and others I was the guard's. Eventually I came to a realization, though it took a long time, several rebel attacks, and my father dying."
"By Christmas I had realized that what I had felt for that boy from Carolina may have been love, but it was nothing compared to what your father and I shared. I realized that what had drawn me to Asp... to the other boy had been the thrill of keeping it secret, the stolen kisses in the dark, and the anticipation of breaking the rules in order to be happy. But your father..."
Her eyes grew distant and wistful. "I remembered thinking once that we were friends who had realized we didn't ever want to be without each other. The other boy had passion, but dad had so much more. I knew that he wanted everything with me, not just the charged moments of forbidden love, but even the most normal circumstances. He wrote me a letter once explaining it," she said, grinning at the thought.
"I guess what I'm trying to tell you is to be patient, and think things through. Don't rush into any decisions. Marry the person you love, not the one that makes your heart beat like crazy when you touch, not the one that you like only because your relationship thrills you. A marriage is supposed to be an unbreakable friendship, a passionate commitment. Think it through, and then have a wedding."
She finished and I was speechless. I was rushing. I was rushing because my heart beat at the speed of light every time I thought of Eikko, but did I only feel like I loved him because he was he one thing I couldn't have?
Something else was itching to be asked, so I went for it. "What happened to your Carolina boyfriend?" I asked, hoping this would connect the dots.
"He found a new love in one of my maids during the selection," she said with a smirk, knowing I would get it now.
"You were in love with General Leger!" I cried, disbelieving.
She laughed out loud, holding herself. "It's so funny now even though it was traumatizing back then."
I was speechless. All this information in such a short amount of time was shocking. I didn't know what to do with all of it.
Mom seemed to see right through me, understanding my internal struggle. "All I ask is that you slow down, just a little Eady. You can still have the Report tomorrow if you just think for an hour or so. Your time is precious, but so is your heart. Don't make a decision you'll always regret."
"I don't really know what to say," I admitted, more confused than ever.
"That's all right darling, just say you'll stop to think."
"Okay mom. I will try."
"That's all I could ever hope for."