Cant't help falling in love (CAMREN)

CHAPTER 18

March, 1970

Camila woke up from a snooze while Lauren and Marie were in her room again, chatting.

"Is she going to get better soon or is this a long term thing?"

"Just give her time. She's strong. I've told you this."

Camila looked at Lauren blearily, and Lauren leaned forward taking Camila's hand and kissing her brittle fingers. She held her hand and smoothed it down Camila's arm, bumping over the IV and back again. Camila smiled, in a daze.

"Hey, baby," Lauren said, "Everything's fine. Go back to sleep, okay?"

"We were just talking," Marie added as she stood and leaned over the bed to smile at her. "But I should be going. I have other patients to check on."

Camila nodded and smiled at her.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Camila."

Marie left and Camila turned back to Lauren, thin fingers ghosting over her wrist. She looked like she was getting thinner by the day, but Lauren tried to ignore the fact. Instead she focused on the way that Camila moved her fingers over her skin, the way that she curled her fingers around her hand, blunt nails digging into the flesh of her palm. She was still Camila. She was still her Camila.

"What...were...you...talking about?" The last words came out in a rush, like she was trying to get them to come out as fast as she could.

"You." Lauren smiled and rubbed her thumb along the back of Camila's hand, and Camila breathed a short laugh. "Marie was telling you what a big mouth you are...like I didn't know that already," Lauren lied, as they were talking about her health.

Camila nodded and smiled, but she didn't say anything else for a moment. She just watched Lauren, smiling shyly behind her mask, and for a moment Lauren was thrown back to the first moment she had laid eyes on her. Her hair was neat, combed and styled, and her glasses were sitting straight on her face. Her sweater was buttoned and her pants were too big on her, and her glasses kept falling a little askew from the party, and the very first thing Lauren had thought was she should go and fix them for her before she did.

"I...love...you," Camila said suddenly, and Lauren laughed. She laughed and rubbed at her eyes, unaware that she had even started crying again.

"God, Camila," she kissed her fingers and then her wrist. "I love you too."

"I'm... tired," she mumbled after a long while, pulling her hand away from Lauren's to gently touch her face. Lauren held Camila's hand against her cheek, turning her face to kiss her palm.

"Okay," Lauren assured, watching her eyes slip shut. "I'll see you in the morning."

Camila nodded and dropped her hand, turning her face back against the pillow.

Camila fell asleep shortly after that, and Lauren scratched at her head before leaning back in the chair, trying to sleep herself. She was woken up a few hours later by a soft sound.

"What is it?" she said, blinking blearily around. Camila was staring at her, her eyes huge.

"...it's you..." she whispered.

Lauren's brow furrowed. She sat forward, scraping the chair on the tile to bring it closer.

"...it's you..." Camila repeated and Lauren brushed the hair from her face.

"What's wrong?"

Camila's eyes were cloudy and her face was confused.

"...you're okay...?" she slurred, "when...when? I wasn't...I wasn't paying attention..."

Lauren didn't understand.

"Camila, what are you talking about?"

Camila looked at the far wall, moving her hands listlessly, her eyes closing.

"...I wasn't paying attention..."

She fell back asleep and Lauren watched her for a long time, concerned, searching her face. She rubbed her eyes and sat up as long as she could, but eventually she couldn't fight it anymore.

When she woke next it was morning; the sun was coming through the blinds and scattering across Camila's bed. Camila was awake, looking out the window; as Lauren grew more awake, twisting her stiff neck, she could see that the blinds were pulled up halfway. She waited a moment before getting Camila's attention, unsettled from last night's sudden conversation. Camila stayed fixated on the outside, the sky a bright blue.

Camila wondered what to say.

"Morning," she said, finally, and Camila turned to her, smiling faintly. Lauren shifted, her legs aching, "So, did you have a bad dream last night?"

Camila tilted her head slightly on the pillow.

"Hmm?"

Lauren looked at her face: it was clear she didn't know what she was talking about.

"Must have been the medicine," Lauren whispered to herself.

Camila stared blankly at her.

"Are you okay?" she asked, and Camila twitched a little.

"Oh..." she breathed, and then went back to looking out the window. "We should go...to the beach...sometime," she said and Lauren's face fell.

"What do you mean?"

"We should...we should go," she said, almost idly. Lauren shook her head, touching Camila's hand, trying to get her attention. Camila's eyes were unfocused and bouncing around the room, rolling around in her head.

"Baby, we've gone. Don't you remember?"

She finally got Camila's eyes to stop moving, but when they landed on Lauren they looked right through her.

"We should go...that's what...I said..." her speech was slightly slurred, and Lauren reached for the call button.