Slowly Fading

That Night

Cleo's POV

I am held captive. Locked. Trapped. I have the friend everyone wants but do I really. What if they are growing distant? What if they don't talk to you as much as before? What if you don't trust them, trust anyone? There are problems with these things. Problems with what is kids need to go through.

I've been through a lot of them. Losing everyone with a snap of your finger isn't helpful. It helps nothing. Nobody knowing is worse. You can't show your feelings unless forced. If you do, you are automatically judged. At least, that is how it is in this city.

Nobody knows anything. Nobody cares. You can be screaming but it's like you're in space, nobody can hear you. It's not like anyone wants to either. You're either happy and free or you're trapped and help captive in your own body, unable to control a single bone in your body.

That's how it is in this world. I'm running. Trying to escape the world and what reality has brought to me. Trying to lose myself in the freezing air, hoping it will shrivel everything and everything will just blow away like dust.

All our worries, problems, tears, heartbreak, gone. Imagine! Imagine how happy everything would be! How clear the water would be, the cloudless skies and the cheerful smiles of everyone.

Back to reality. I stop to take a deep breath and look at my surroundings. The wonderful trap. The park. In the morning it may look cheerful, but at this hour you're not able to tell how. The world around me is gloomy and dark.

There are streetlight around but we all know those aren't the most helpful sources. Just like in your mind. Fake light can get you lost. And you lose it all if you forget to keep contained.

I wasn't always this sad. I was once the most cheerful, hyper, caring, and kind person most people knew. Until that night. That night that ruined my life, or changed in the worse possible way. Whichever one you prefer to call it.

I was forced to place up my walls and make sure, that NOBODY tears them down. They say they will protect you but everyone knows people will eventually leave. How exciting! Getting your heart torn apart every single day cause you're so stupid you don't contain, you just blabber.

Life is tough and this park shows it. At night you can't even hear any noise. It is dead silent. Just like an empty classroom. Sadly, everything is all over the floor. People here days don't notice the mess they make, ruining the beauty of the park. There are no stray people hanging around.

I begin my work. I am not forced too do this, I just want to help the common people. Funny how I don't receive any help back, but I know I have to be patient. Good will come when it's called for. That won't be for a while.

I start with the red solo cup, ugh, alcohol. Gross. I tried it when I was a bit younger and from that day forward began to hate it. I toss it in the bag, trying to rid of the memories.

I pick up the napkin and throw it alongside of the cup. The cycle continues until the bag is full and the park is clean. I switch out the trash bags and sit at the bench. Staring at the stars is a daily thing I do. There hasn't been a day I missed since that night.

I look up and tears threaten to burst out but I keeps them in. Life has a weird way of working, but you make your own destiny. I need to fiber out how to do that before I begin fading away.