Something Like Shame (BWWM)

Chapter 5

...She was absolutely breathtaking that night, not the run-of-the-mill frivolous adolescent girl. In fact, of all the girls I'd seen in my life, she could have been the most refined...

We walked a long way down Fine Arts Drive until we finally came across a street vendor. I held my stomach as it rumbled emptily at all the heady smells: popcorn, jalapeño poppers, cotton candy, French fries. My mouth was watering. Mr. Wick stopped and grasped my hand for a fleeting second, "You're hungry."

"A little." I chewed my lip and stared at the menu written on the side of the truck. I could hear the sizzle and pop of the fryer and grill inside filling the air with the rich, well-seasoned smell of Barbecue smoke- hamburgers, hot dogs, corn dogs and the like.

An old man leaned over the counter and pulled out a notepad and a pencil, "What can I get the happy couple?"

I stiffened and glanced up at Mr. Wick who, at odds with my spike of panic, looked unfazed by the assumption. Handing over a ten dollar bill, he said with a flicker of a rare smile, "We'll have two hot dogs with fries."

"Coming right up." The man flashed a wide grin that crinkled the corners of his eyes before turning back to his kids to repeat our order. In less than three minutes, he came back with the food, fresh off the grill. He nudged Mr. Wick on the shoulder and said, "Take care of this gorgeous young lady. You two make a lovely pair."

"I couldn't agree more." He slid me a shy side-long glance, suddenly he looked twenty years younger than he actually was. Of course, his hair was still speckled with grey hairs and he still showed some signs of his age, but he was kind of a young soul in that moment.

For the rest of the evening Mr. Wick seemed lively and at ease with his surroundings as he told me stories of his childhood complete with whimsical gestures that pulled me further in and allowed me to peak into his early life. He mentioned his Mom and how she made the best homemade gelato and never missed a day of Mass. My heart melted at the way his eyes softened when he spoke of her; If her name was a medication and had any side effects, it would definitely be an almost smile.

I listened and admired his boyish animation as I munched on the salty fries that were cooked to a golden crisp- his energy was just too contagious.

"I'm rambling. My apologies, Henna." He took a seat on a park bench under a fluorescent beam of streetlight and sighed, "It's just so easy for me to be open when I'm around you, if that makes sense."

"That makes tons of sense." I covered my mouth and swallowed the last bits of food, "I like hearing what you have to say. Tell me more."

"Um, alright." I could almost see a blush collecting over his cheeks. He turned to me and thought for a moment, tugging hard at his bottom lip again, a nervous habit, "What do you want to know?"

"I want to know all there is to know about you, Mr. Wick." I froze- the words flew out before I could rethink them. Crossing my legs, trying hard to stifle the flutter in my stomach. From the corner of my eye, I could see him watching me, it was intense. "But I really want to know what it was like being in the priesthood, if that's okay."

"Dr. Wick wastes no time with you guys, huh?" He looked at me and thought for a moment, "Having all those people depending on you, distracting you from all your troubles with their own- doing mass, marriage, funerals, and all." He scoffed, "It was a lot of work. But, it was worth it to serve the church."

"Then, why did you leave?" I asked in a small voice, hugging my knees to my chest.

He frowned at his plate, no longer seeing the food, "By this time, I'd brought my vocation closer to home, and closer to, well, my family and it was the end of service. A few of the laymen were talking with me about how, sometimes, we only see what we want to see in people and something caught my eye. I looked up and saw this woman, I mean really saw her. It wasn't in a glance but in a good, long look and she stared right back at me with this expression filled with love or something dangerously close to it. It sort of dawned on me that those people saw me as more than what I was or ever would be. I just couldn't live up to those standards, Henna."