xii.

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dear bella rue,

janessa told me she’s concerned about me. she said that i’m regressing in my progress.

janessa: do you think that this regression has anything to do with not speaking to jesse anymore?

me: no.

janessa: are you lying, silvia?

    [i’m silent.]

    [she implores me silently to answer her.]

    [i don’t give in.]

and i agree with her. i am regressing. but that’s only because i just don’t care enough to try anymore, bella rue. i’m drowning in much more than your music nowadays. i’m drowning period.

sincerely yours,

silvia.

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