silvia

xxvi.

dear silvia,

i’m not really sure how to start this. i’m pretty decent at writing songs, but i suck when it comes to actually conversing with people.

first off, i'm so sorry that i didn't reply right away. i've been away on tour for the past three months, and all of my fanmail goes right to my house in california. but it's better late than never, eh?

(excuses)

thank you for being such a big fan of my music. it means a lot to me. the song “cracks” is a favorite of mine as well. it helped me out of a dark period in my life. it’s also partially the reason that i met my husband, and for that, the song will always hold a spot in my heart.

speaking of male love interests, give jesse another chance. he seems like a good kid. he just needs some time. remember, he’s a boy, and they suck at having emotions. he'll come around, though. i'm sure of it.

silvia, i know i don’t really know you in real life, but i’ve read every single one of your letters. i won’t tell you that you’re fucked up for being depressed, or that you need treatment or whatever, because i was depressed once and i hated it when people told me that. however, i will beg you to not go over the deep end.

that reminds me of a horrible story i saw on the news last week. a fifteen year old girl killed herself in her bedroom; she stabbed herself in the stomach and let herself bleed out on the carpet. on her walls she wrote a set of lyrics from my song “cracks” with a black crayon. she also wrote a set of lyrics from “adam’s song” by blink-182 (another favorite of mine, by the way). The worst part, though, is that some kid who was in love with her killed himself three days later. They didn’t make a big deal about his death on the news though. i’m trying so hard to remember what her name was...i think it started with s...oh shit, it was you silvia, wasn’t it? damn.

sincerely yours,

bella rue