suicide || h.s ✔

fifteen - past

{Edited} 

Dedicated this chapter to @Lacimerollin for commenting on my last chapter! Thanks that  

Thanks for all the support so far with this story.  It means a lot.

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"I can't believe we finally will able to go home after being on tour for forever."

I agreed with Liam. We haven't had an official break since we went on the Up All Night Tour. Now we are finally going home and spending some well needed time with our family and hometown friends. I missed my sister and mum.

"Do you boys have everything packed?" Niall's mom asked us. We nodded, waiting for the taxi to get here. She had let us stay the weekend at their house and then once our plane tickets were all in order, we'd all go our separate ways. It's going to feel weird being separated from the guys for so long.

Anyway, after we agreed to stay in Ireland for a few days, we got the girls plane tickets to come to Ireland. They stayed in a hotel for a little while until we got the house situated for them. Later on, Perrie had to leave because she was starting her tour with her band Little Mix and needed to go for rehearsals. Danielle left to go back to dancing school and Eleanor left to go home to her family. Darianna stayed, obviously, since she lives in Ireland with Kaylee at college.

A knock sounded on the door, shaking me from my thoughts.

"I'll get it," Greg said, running to the door. He talked for a few minutes and then Paul followed behind him.

"Are you lads read?" He asked us. This was it, this was our goodbye for a little while. Call me a baby, but I'm not ready.

"Yeah," I mumbled, even though I wasn't.

They gave me and Kaylee some alone time, leaving the room for us to say goodbye. I hugged her, loving the feeling of her in my arms. "I'm going to miss you so much," I mumbled into her hair.

"I'm going to miss you more."

"I love you so much," I wiped a stray tear off of her cheek.

"I love you more."

I smiled and said, "We can Skype all the time and text and talk on the phone. This is just a small bump in the road for right now, okay?" She laugh lightly, running her hands up and down my back.

"Are you ready yet? Please tell me you guys aren't having sex!", I heard Louis shout. He's so childish it's ridiculous.

"I guess I have to go now. I'll text you when I land at home. I usually sleep on plane rides," She nodded, hugging me extra tight.

"I love you so much," I mumbled against her lips. She released me from her grasp and looked at the floor. I turned around and started to exit through the door. Once outside, Paul helped me put my luggage into the car. Before I closed my door I heard, "Wait."

Out came Kaylee running down the driveway in nothing but her pajamas. I opened the car door and opened my arms. She jumped into my arms and wrapped her legs around my waist. My hands went around her waist and her hands were in my hair. Our foreheads were touching and I quickly closed the gap, brushing my lips against hers. It was a light touch of the lips at first but then I started pressing my lips harder onto hers, becoming hungry and lust filled. God, am I going to miss her lips. I snuck my tongue into her mouth and then pulled away slowly, biting her bottom lip.

"Don't forget me," Her voice cracked as she pulled away from me. I wish I could take her home. .

"Never could, princess."

"That was so fucking adorable. I got that all on video. . I'm sending that to Eleanor and putting it on Twitter and YouTube," We laughed at Louis. He mumbled some shit to himself and went back to his phone, typing wildly.

"You better get going now. I don't want you to miss your flight because of me. I love you, okay?" She jumped down from my arms and bit her bottom lip.

I ran my finger down her swollen lips, "Okay, I love you too."

She smiled softly, walking away and standing with Niall and his family. I hopped back into the car and as we pulled away. I saw her blow a kiss to me, tears streaming down her beautiful face,

***

"Why are you still sitting here, Harry?"

The rain came down heavy around me, soaking my curls and making them stick to my forehead.

"She's not gone, Liam. It's all a lie. You guys are lying to me," Liam's eyes held sympathy in them. They looked at me with pity. Zayn came outside next, sitting down next to me, placing an arm around my shoulder.

"She is, Harry. Why are you the only one that can't accept that?" Zayn shook his head.

"She's not gone! I love her, Zayn. She would never leave me." I wanted my voice to be strong and demanding, but it wasn't. My voice was weak and little. I felt like a little kid.

"Maybe it's time to move on," Louis said, sitting in front of me. I didn't even see him come out here. How can I move on from someone like her?

"I can't move on. She would never forgive me." I wanted to scream and shout but nothing came out of my mouth.

"She's dead, Harry! Why can't you understand that? She's dead! She's gone! Get over yourself." Louis was screaming at me. He was my best friend, they all were, but I pushed everyone away. Niall doesn't even come out of his room anymore. We isolated ourselves.

"Stop," I said, clutching my head with tears streaming down my face. I wasn't going to believe him.

"She's dead. She's never coming back. Get that through your head," I started to run, needing to get away from them.

"Harry," I heard someone shout my name.

"Harry!" Someone else shouted. I didn't even see the truck coming at me. It should hit me, let me be with her again.

"HARRY!"

Before the truck could collide with my body, I was awoken. Louis, Liam, Zayn, and Paul we all staring down at me. My hair was sticking to the back of my neck and my cheeks were wet with tears. I looked around, noticing that I was still on the train. My shirt was sticking to my back, sweat evident on my body. It felt so real

"Wh-where is she?" I asked, choking on my words. I was hyperventilating from crying so hard. I didn't even realize I was crying.

"She's fine, Harry. It was just a dream. What happened?" They looked down at me with concern littering in their eyes.

"It was horrible," My words came out choppy. I didn't really want to talk about it.

"You can tell us," Someone was rubbing my back, soothing me from the pain in my chest. I can't stop reliving that dream. Every time I blink, I see it. I just wanna cry. What guy wants to cry?

"S-she was dead and I kept saying that she wasn't gone. You guys were yelling at me, telling me to accept that she was dead. I started to run, needing to get away from you guys. You guys were still yelling, telling me to get out of the way, but I didn't. I stopped in the middle of the street wanting to die so I could be with her. Before anything happened, you guys woke me up."

"It was just a dream. Okay, Harry? Just a dream." Liam said and sat there with me. We put in the movie to try and get my mind off of everything. I didn't want to sleep because I was afraid I would dream that dream again, but my eyelids won the battle and I fell asleep, dreaming of her.

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