suicide || h.s ✔

thirty six - past

{Edited}

I am extremely excited because my One Direction concert is tomorrow and I freaked out because Luke tweeted about eating a cheese stake at a place where I go. So yeah, my problem here is that my grandpa wouldn't take me down there to see 5SOS  :(

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I am going crazy here at my flat back in London. Every time I look at Kaylee, I think of a little baby growing inside of her. It's driving me insane since she does not see the signs of a possible baby. I know she could've just been sick from drinking but what if there is a baby inside of her? What else is driving me crazy is that I keep thinking she knows about the baby but just won't tell me because she's scared. Besides that, I still know the signs since I have Googled them last week.

The first sign of a woman being pregnant is that she gets morning sickness. This a sign for us since Kaylee wakes up in the wee hours of the morning to run into our bathroom and throw up whatever she had the night before.

The second sign is weird cravings. Kaylee will wake me up at three in the morning to make me go to the grocery store to buy her something that we do not have in the house. Like for example, she woke me up last night to get her some pickles from the 24 hour Deli down the road from us. Red flag here is that she doesn't even like pickles!

The third sign is smells. I remember my mom telling me she hated the smell of certain perfumes and that would make her queasy. Kaylee's favorite breakfast foods are pancakes and bacon. She told me that just looking at them makes her want to throw up.

And my final sign for my mini essay is that, and remember this is from Google, a woman's breasts can swell. And fuck, I sure as hell can see the change in them. But, hey, I am not complaining of the bigger size of her boobs.

Anyway, as you can see from above, Kaylee is clearly pregnant. So why isn't she telling me or doing something about it?

Or, what if she's not pregnant and I'm just being paranoid?

***

"I don't know, mate, those signs sounds like she might have a bun in the oven," Niall said.

We were currently at Starbucks, getting the girls some latte's and muffins. Tonight, we were all hanging out at my flat and having a get together just by watching movies. As we stood at the pick up waiting for our things to come out, I told the lads about my theories of Kaylee being pregnant.

"I agree with Ni. I mean if I were you, I would at least mention something about it to her." Zayn was about to continue until his name was called.

"Zach." Zayn walked over, grabbed his bags and tray and walked back over to the end of the counter. Once he was with us again, he continued what he was saying, "As I was saying, I would mention something about a baby. Like when you guys are alone mention having a family with her and that you would like that."

I was thinking about what Zayn said until I heard, "Larry". I walked over and grabbed my stuff and then came back to our spot. After Liam, retrieved his stuff he came back. "I agree with Zayn but like don't full out ask her if she is pregnant. She's going to think you're calling her fat and Kaylee is already insecure so we don't need her starving herself if she really is pregnant. That wouldn't be good for the baby."

"Lewis." Louis walked over to grab his stuff. Once he had everything, we started heading out and back to my Range Rover. We all piled into the car.

"Hold this bag for me, please?" I handed the bag to Niall, who had called shot gun and said yes to holding my stuff while I drove back to my flat.

"So, what should I do then? Like I would be ecstatic if Kaylee is pregnant. Fuck, I might even cry but I think I might cry because I am scared." I stopped talking for a moment as I turned around to back out of my spot. Once on the road, I began talking again, "I'm only 22 and we are going on tour again soon. I am going to be scared shit less that I can't be with Kaylee during one of the most important parts of our lives; our first child. Plus, I was hoping we would be married first."

I felt someone touch my shoulder and give me a quick squeeze, which I knew to be Louis right away, "I understand where you are coming from. Actually, I don't understand because El isn't pregnant but we once had a pregnancy scare and I was scared shit less. I mean, our careers are at our highest points right now, and a baby? No way. But what I am trying to say is that you can't leave her. You can't give up on Kaylee. What will the fans say? No matter what, you need to stick with her through all eleven months."

We laughed, "Nine months," I said, "But thank you Lou, that was very inspirational. I know exactly what I am going to do tonight about all of you guys are gone"

We continued talking for a bit, changing the subject of pregnancy to tour, to exploring the world again. As I parked the car in my driveway, and we all headed out of my car, I had a huge smile on my face because I was happy. Somewhere, deep down inside, I knew I am going to be a daddy.

***

Everybody had left about an hour ago. It was now midnight and Kaylee was fucking bitching at me.

"I don't get why you are yelling at me," I said, trying to keep my voice calm since I was officially pissed off.

"Because, I told you to wash the fucking dishes and you didn't. Now it's almost 12:30 and I am standing here doing your dishes!" She yelled at me, slamming the plates and cups in the sink and scrubbing everything really hard.

"Well you know what, Kaylee? I am one fucking person. I can't do everything. I am not superman and I do not have eight arms. Give me a break, will you? I am beyond exhausted since you have me up at three in the morning getting you fucking food when you can eat the food that is in the damn kitchen! God, Kaylee, grow up!" I was done being the nice guy so if she wanted to yell at me, I would yell right back.

"God, Harry, you're so fucking annoying," She said, placing the rag back into the sink and sliding down the cabinets and onto the floor. She put her head into her hands and start crying.

Being the softie that I am, I walked over, sat down, and placed my arms around her. "Are you okay?"

She sniffed, running her hands roughly against her cheeks, "No I am not okay. My hormones are all out of whack and it's all your fault"

I laughed, "How is this my fault?"

"Because if you didn't think to wrap your junk up, we wouldn't be having a little Harry growing inside of me. Oh god, don't give me that look. You knew I was pregnant. It was pretty obvious with the mood swings, sudden cravings and throwing up."

I smirked, "Don't forget about the swell in your breasts."

She threw and angry look at me and then moved away from me. "Shut up. You're not the one that has to go to the store tomorrow to get new bras because they don't fit anymore."

"Can I come with you?" I asked, a smile breaking onto my face.

"Sure, I don't fucking care. I just want to sleep."

I nodded, but before I would let her leave the room, I grabbed her arm and stood her up with me, "Were you ever going to tell me?"

She sighed, closing her eyes and then opening them again to look at me. "Of course I was you dip shit. I was going to bring home a bag with a t-shirt that said 'Guess Who's Going To Be A Daddy' and then there was going to be two thumbs pointing up at you saying 'This Guy'. I had a whole thing planned out but I wanted to make sure I was really pregnant. I went to the doctors last night and she said I was three weeks along."

I smiled, bringing my lips down to hers and kissing her. I kissed her with so much passion and love that I broke away with a huge smile on my face, "God I love you so much. Can I still have the shirt?"

She giggled, "Of course you can, it's up stairs."

I smiled some more, kneeling down so that I was eye level to her belly. I gently pulled her shirt up and kissed right above her belly button, "I can't wait to see you, little one," I whispered.

I was beyond excited, but then again, I was beyond scared because what would my fans think?

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