Shattered Hearts

Chapter 34

Darlene parked up outside of Charlotte's home and cut the engine signalling she wanted to talk to her. "I didn't want to say anything in front of Dale but Louis told me to wish you luck. I think he thought I'd see you before the court case."

Charlotte felt her heart pound and it infuriated her that he could still affect her in this way. "Did he say that?" She shrugged feigning indifference. "That's nice of him."

"Lottie?" Darlene touched her arm. "Don't push him away. You need your friends."

"And I have them, don't I?" She looked at Darlene feeling a wave of gratitude. "I'd never have got here without you and John, you've held me up when you've had plenty of your own stuff to be dealing with about."

"It was nothing," Darlene said squeezing her arm. "You've been there for me as well. But maybe give Louis a chance, I'd hate you to throw what could be a great relationship away over a misunderstanding."

"It wasn't a misunderstanding."

"But that letter probably didn't come from his mom, and even if it did, it's not fair to take it out on him."

Charlotte looked down, her hair falling across her face. "The letter came from Nick, I'm almost certain. I think Jamie probably overheard me talking to Sam about the vacation after I got back, and then he's said something to his grandparents or Nick."

Darlene's eyes widened. "Have you asked him?"

"Of course not! He didn't do anything wrong, I should have been more discreet." She let out a sigh, "I guess I'm going to have to be more careful what I say around him. I can't ask a five-year-old not to talk about me to his dad." Even divorced, Nick was still going to be a presence in her life.

"Okay," Darlene said frowning. "But going back to Louis, surely the coast is clear for you to get back together."

"I don't think so, there's too much water under the bridge." She frowned, looking towards the house - her brother's house - which she'd hopefully vacate in the not too distant future. "I'd better get going, thanks for the ride." She swung the car door open.

"Wait, you will be at Daniel's christening won't you?"

Charlotte looked at her blankly for a moment. "I wouldn't miss it for the world."  She said her goodbyes and climbed out of the car hoping Darlene wasn't offended that she didn't want to chat some more.  

"Hi," Sam said as she entered the house. "Are you free of the asshole?"

She threw down her purse and let out a sigh. "Yeah, the asshole is history."

"Thank fuck."

"Language," she said, trying hard not to smile.

"In future, I'm vetting all your potential boyfriends." He picked up a pad of paper by the phone. "While you were out Judy called, and Ros. I said you'd call them back."

"Okay." She felt a pang of disappointed that Louis hadn't called but she was being stupid. After the way she'd spoken to him, they'd probably never speak again. "I'm going to lie down, I'm absolutely done in." That wasn't a lie, she'd been so tense before the case she'd been living off her nerves, now she was crashing.

She went up to her bedroom and threw herself on the bed hoping sleep would overcome her. However, after a few minutes, she was still awake and feeling restless. She sat up and reached for a book on her nightstand thinking a bit of reading would relax her mind. She stared at the words but they might as well have been in a foreign language. She well recognised the feeling of being tired but unable to sleep, and it unnerved her. She couldn't go back down the path of medicating herself, it was too risky.

She jumped as there was a knock at her door. "Come in," she said knowing it could only be Sam.

"I've made you a sandwich," he said putting a plate down in front of her. "Peanut butter, you should eat something."

"Thanks," she said touched by his concern. "I'm sorry you've had to suffer through this as well."

"What are big brothers for?" He cleared his throat, "Mom called, I told her you were sleeping."

"Like she cares." She shook her head and let out a weary sigh. "She was probably hoping the divorce didn't go through."

"Can't you give her a break? She's on your side."

Charlotte scoffed. "Sure she is. She wasn't there for me when I lost my baby, not really. She wasn't there-"

"Charlotte!" Sam raised his hands. "When you lost the baby she thought you and Nick were happily married, she tried to help but she didn't want to overstep the mark. After...after you were in the hospital, it was a lot for her to get her head around."

"You managed to," she said pouting.

"Yeah, cos I always thought Nick was an asswipe but mom quite liked him." He sat down next to her on the bed. "Remember, John called me when you were admitted to the hospital, I saw how bad things had gotten. Mom heard everything second hand and it was a lot for her to take in."

"I don't think it makes a difference," she said stubbornly. "She's had months to take it in but she's kept her distance all this time. If it wasn't for Jamie I doubt I'd have seen her at all."

Sam sighed, "You're probably right but can't you hear her out? What good does it do you to push her away?"

I push everyone away.

"Okay, I'll call her in the morning," she said relenting. "I'm tired now." Sam took that as his cue to leave and she sank back into her pillows. Probably she was punishing her mom for not being as supportive as she could have been but she was in no mood for making amends.

Putting the book she was attempting to read to one side, she reached for her diary to check the date of Daniel's christening. She had forgotten about it. She marked the page with a big star and wrote reminders on the days leading up to it, fearful she might still forget. Her memory had been shocking lately. She put the diary down and took a bite of her sandwich thinking it tasted odd, not bad, but different.

Her brows knotted together in a deep frown and she grabbed her diary, flicking through the past few weeks. She didn't generally keep track of her period - it was nothing more than an inconvenience she would gladly do without - however, she couldn't recall when she'd last had one. Looking at the events in her diary, she tried desperately to prompt her memory. She scrolled back to the week of her vacation and was shocked to realise it had to have been sometime before then, a good two months ago.

She closed the diary, her heart racing. Surely she wasn't pregnant, she couldn't get pregnant, the doctor said it was almost impossible.

Almost.

Maybe the stress of the trial, the complaints at school, and the break up with Louis had sent her system haywire. That was the most likely cause. But if it wasn't, if by some weird twist of fate she was pregnant...she shook her head. No, she couldn't be, not when she'd burnt her bridges with Louis, life could not be that unfair. And yet, she remembered her lunch with Darlene and Dale, the wave of nausea that had overcome her, and left as quickly as it had arrived...

                                                                                            ~~~

Thank you for reading, please consider voting.