"Alex, I swear, I didn't cheat on you!" I say, grabbing his arm. He finally comes to a stop and turns around, fixing his fall coat that I pulled on to stop him. The doors behind me chime. (A/N no, I do not know why I never mentioned him)
"But you did! Was that not you?" God, I hope Pippa and whoever is with her isn't looking out the window.
"It was but I didn't- it wasn't like that! I just-"
"You just what? You just went and had sex with another guy. We've been going out for three months. I'm sorry that I didn't think that we could be having sex with whoever."
"We're not. I swear, I'm committed to this! He kissed me!"
"And he took your clothes off?"
"My clothes were on."
"Oh, good, so a photo of you half dressed isn't going around. Just because you have a tank top and a skirt on, I should be okay with this guy on you." That night at the party, there was someone in the window. Someone taking pictures. Someone who lucky for me didn't get any pictures after that. At least the asshole can close some shades, even if it's just to keep himself out of trouble. "What do you want me to think? You weren't just some toy. You made the decision to cheat and I don't want to be with someone like that." My eyes burn but my eyes stay on his. "You made that decision. We're you raped or something?"
"No." I answer ridiculously quickly.
"Than this was your decision."
"I'm sorry." I say, my voice small.
"Fuck you." He says before walking away in a different direction. I watch him walk away, ignoring the stinging from the cold breeze.
"Come on, you're gonna freeze." Carleigh says, putting her arm around my shoulder to guide me in.
"How much of that did you see?" I ask, looking down at my feet.
"Just about- all."
"I didn't-"
"You don't have to." I shake my head.
"You don't believe me." I state.
"You're just upset. We got coffee and you can come in and we don't need to talk right now."
"Thanks but I need to go." I step away and tuck my hair behind my ear.
"Elena, come on." I glance in the window and see Pippa and Jazzy looking at us, on the edge of their seats. My feet move before my brain and I'm off.
-
"Are you okay?" I jump, dropping my change on the ground in the coffee shop.
"Pippa, you scared me."
"Sorry." She says, helping me pick up my change.
"Sit down." She demands when we both stand up. I slide into the nearest seat and she sits across from me.
"I heard. Carleigh." I sigh and push my hair out of my face.
"It wasn't that bad. I didn't like him that much in the end."
"Well you don't look great."
"It didn't end well. But I'm glad it's over."
"Did you cheat on him?"
"Let's move on."
"Scout-"
"Please. Just answer this. Then we can move on and I'll tell you all about the show and I promise, I have some good stories over the last few days. Just tell me."
"It's complicated."
"I think you're a good person."
"You think I'm a slut."
"I think you don't want to hurt people. And until yesterday, I thought you were a virgin."
"Stories. Now." I rush.
"Okay. Fine. We'll come back to it."
-
"What's this." I say when someone sticks a box on my stomach. I've been laying on the couch, reading a book in the theater.
"A box someone told me to do something with." I put it on the table next to me and Pippa turns her phone to me.
"I came across this during the show." Pippa says, showing me the picture on her phone. I look away immediately. "Is that what that boy saw." I nod, looking straight ahead. "This picture is circling around?"
"Yep." I say, closing my book and putting it in the table, next to the box. I cross my legs, facing her. "And it's all around my school. It's humiliating and I would really appreciate it is you didn't show me it." The picture is me on my back in a tank top and my skirt fallen up my bent legs, exposing my thighs. The guy on top of me has his lips on mine and his legs straddling my body.
"Why did you do it?"
"Are you my mom?"
"The closest to her." she says. She's right. "Elana, you know you're too young, you took a risk, and you cheated."
"I didn't want to, okay? Alex was ginna dump me anyways because I wouldn't have sex with him, okay." I snap. "I just wanna be fifteen and that doesn't have to, nor should it involve fucking guys. If I had a choice, I would have said 'no' but I have never willingly had sex. Okay?" Her mouth opens a slight but and her eyes tear seem to grow larger with both focus and fear.
"You were raped."
"No." I snap but I cant look at her so I look down at my hands.
"Oh my god, you were."
"I was not." I say, standing up and crossing my arms. She slowly stands up and I feel my eyes burning and filling with tears. When she is all the way up, I feel the first sob break out. She steps forward and wraps her arms around me. "No." I say, slipping out of her hug. "I'm not crying about this." I say, turning away and wiping my eyes.
"Elena." She whispers. I shake my head, pulling myself together the best that I can. "He won't get away with it." I turn back around, eyes burning but mostly dry. My cheeks are hot but the tears have been wiped away.
"I'm not gonna do anything about it." I state.
"What?" She says, eyes bulging.
"He got in trouble this week. Huge trouble. So I don't have to worry about him and he's already in trouble for something."
"But not this."
"Leave it alone." She stares, not moving the slightest. "It was my fault." She looks at me stunned. It's like a line from a movie. Such a cliché when the character blames him or herself for whatever happened to them. That's not what I'm going for. "I was drunk."
"I doubt you were that drunk. You seem like a really good kid."
"Everyone will say it's my fault. I made a mistake, which means it's my fault that he forced himself onto me. And had it not been that I was drunk, it would be that I was wearing a dress and it was too suggestive."
"It wasn't."
"But I wore make up and I don't usually dress like that so that particular night, I was just asking for it. I went there to be raped, right? It was my fault. And if it wasn't that, then I must have sent him some sort of message. And so on."
"No one will blame you! There's a whole broadway cast out there and not a single one of them would- of course you know it's not your fault." She realizes. "You just- you think you know what everyone will say. That's what you're trying to tell me."
"Stop it."
"Elena-"
"Stop it!"
"I just need his name, hun. And we can fix it."
"We can drop it," she bites her lip and then nods.
"Give me his name and we drop it." So I do.
