"Lane!" I yell.
"Yeah?" She asks, appearing in the hall in a tank top and her school shirt. Her hair is falling out of her ponytail and her eyes are red and puffy from hours ago. Not nearly enough sleep but time has passed.
"Did I wake you up?" I ask, trying to ignore my concern about her shrunken frame. I stand at the stove and she stands around the corner to the short hall.
"What time is it?"
"Seven thirty."
"Really?"
"You just seemed like someone who would be up early."
"I usually am. That's why I thought something was wrong."
"Oh, I'm sorry. What time are you normally up?"
"Six thirty or seven on weekends. Occasionally later but only-" her eyes break away from me and at the ground. "When I'm sick. What are you making?"
"Pancakes. Hungry?"
"They smell good but I'm actually not much of a pancake person."
"How?" She shrugs. Her crystal blue protruding eyes lock mine in place even when she is looking away. Her messy hair manages to look nice or even cute and her thin lips suit her well. She captures any eye within a hundred feet. A blessing and a curse.
"They bother my stomach." She tells me, leaning against the wall on her arm so that she still faces me but props her tired self up.
"Well, oatmeal then?"
"All right. Thanks." She says, a small grateful and polite yet but not very exited beyond the surface smile appearing on her face. Even when half fake and only out of politeness, it makes things a little brighter. Her smile drops.
"You look mad." She says, removing her weight from the wall, looking confused but slightly scared. I rarely see her scared. Is she scared of me hurting her? No. I doubt that. Leaving her? I can't make her think that.
"I was just thinking about something."
"Oh. Did you read a newspaper article about a killer or something because I swear, my anger-o-meter goes up more than it ever does anywhere else when I read those."
"Um? no. I haven't read it. I was thinking about well- what happened to you recently and god, that guy was a bastard." I say, slamming my fist against the table.
"Relax, Lin. It happens. I just learned to be more careful about what I wear."
"Did you just blame yourself."
"Well, I don't think that the way girls dress should ever been interpreted as an invitation to her body or that it's fair that we have to worry about that all that much when guys get to wear what they want, it will still be a factor. We need to watch out because unfortunately, there's still people out there that are gonna take it as an invitation, fair or not."
"I saw what you wore that night. You were fine." I say. She shrugs. She knows that it's not her fault. She's smart and she knows that. Either society has manipulated her, she's fooling herself, or she doesn't want to be a victim. That's it. "You don't want to be a victim." I say aloud.
"Who wants to be a victim."
"You're blaming yourself because you don't want to be the one coming out hurt."
"So what? If I'm not hurting this way, why change things?"
"Because you cried yourself to sleep last night! I can hear it through the walls. I see you're eyes. You're breaking!" She runs back into the hallway. I sigh and put the pancake on a plate, giving her a moment before heading down the hall.
"Elena?" I say, taping on the open door to get her attention. She's thrown on her school sweater and made the bed in the tiny guest room very quickly.
"I need to go."
"I'm sorry, Ellie. I am. I didn't mean to yell.
"No, I just need to go. Thanks for letting me stay. Excuse me." She says, slipping past me.
"Or say that. Come on. Okay, I didn't mean to say it but I meant it and I'm concerned."
"Well drop that." Her face softens. "I'm being adopted this week. If the parents are how I expect them to be, well, maybe I'll see you again but probably not for a while. Bye, Lin."
"Bye." I say, watching her walk to the exit. I follow her and look around the corner to see her let herself out. Sebastian should be awake soon so I leave my spot to check on him.
