Window Cracks

▶️The Plan◀️

I wake up and I feel weightless, as if my burdens are lifted, yet my body feels like it is floating in a dark place I cannot make anything of.

I think about everything that happened.  Worry has been building up over the time, and it is somewhat expelled from the courts of my enslaving mind, but more worry has filtered through from the prisons of my new thoughts.

Things do not feel the same as yesterday, Den.

I remember where I am: in Hannah's house. My mother, is also here, but as Hannah's guardian. Cleanly, tactically, she spurred a new purpose into my life. A heavy purpose, and she weakened me in the process, emotionally.

I hear traces of voices in the kitchen.

"...thing about Trace...that she's complacent... thinks the takeover of the world is going to be effortless, and all the trainees... obedient." The tone of the voice starts to get angry and the articulation is resonated. "And.. She underestimates Den. After we found out that Zelch told her that Den leaves the Tank, she came to the evening meeting, the one on his birthday, looking stunned. Her confidence was down, I could tell she was emotionally affected." The voice takes a pause. It is my mother's. She sighs and continues with a softer and more familiar tone of voice. "She is used to success. I would know. When we were kids, she always used to beat me to the Tank when we'd run. And at the Tank, she was better than me in the Grounds. Ultimately, I could see that she wanted to be approved by authority, and she still does; she tried to colour her natural hair into a black with this mixture she made, so it matches with authority attire, but there are still traces of our sisterly navy blue. Anyway..." She takes a breath, "Taking my son into her care after I 'failed' to do so when George left was another success and a way to seek more approval, but failing to indoctrinate him has been a shaking defeat."

"So she can't even tell it's you, Adrianna?"

"At the beginning she looked at me suspiciously. I guess I just looked a little too nervous, and my entrance into the authority wasn't so clear, because all of them were in it since the end of their younger years at the Tank. To them, I am your guardian, always have been, and you have unknown parents. And now that you are old enough to come to the Tank, I can join authority. Quite obscure, because I also don't have a clear history. But over time the authority started to overlook it. They have bigger worries and agendas. Now, she doesn't even look at me. I guess I am looking more comfortable and fitting in, and my body frame and hair is now different, so the familiarity is hard to spot."

"Woah. Sisters," Hannah says humorously, sighing.

Silence follows. I shuffle in the bed I am in, then I freeze.

I slowly reach the realisation of which bed I am in as the pillow covers and bed sheets subtly tell their secret of Hannah's body scent. I widen my eyes, and I think my mind goes haywire. My thoughts feel buzzed and they dart around my brain. I was unaware of the fact that I knew the scent that dances around Hannah's presence. I slowly lower my eyelids to indulge in a fragrance that cushions my senses, washes me in unearthed freshness and makes me feel like I am surrounded by essences of natural beauty and ... flamboyance.

I did not know that I knew that word.

I gently dig my nose into the pillow and my hand instinctively grips the bed sheet.

I believe it is just that Hannah seems to take over me in almost every possible way.

I am okay with it.

And I want all of her.

I hear footsteps coming into the room, but I am too late to reposition myself. I start to feel and look awkward.

"Den."

My mother.

I definitely look awkward.

"Please, sit up."

I speedily do that to erase the previous moment. She swiftly glides towards me and sits down by the edge of the bed. She did not notice. It could have passed for a very uncomfortable sleeping position.

"Trace never interrupts your sleep at night?"

"No," I reply.

"Great, it is in her to do that. So she will wake you up in some hours for tea, but since you are not there, we have to put some plans underway today because a search group will be sent out just for you... and any other accomplices involved with you missing. You really can't go back, Trace might plan something we are not strong enough for yet, but I have strengthened my abilities a lot more now, and we need to stay at least two steps ahead of authority. Any falter equates to our ultimate death."

How can she say this calmly?

"About yesterday, I know it was a lot to-"

"It's fine now. What should I do to keep us hidden?" I brusquely interrupt and look down.

I am facing the reality that I know I have to do this.

I know the meaning of the boundary surrounding this community. We are trapped physically, and mentally. Restricted to single dimensional thinking. No rising to our full potential, just walking forward or backward in linear and aggressive indoctrination. All this because the authority wants to use us. I know the wall holds back many aspects of all our lives, a possible infinity...

We will take the wall down, and under our watch, the authority will follow down after it.

Some of my mother's words filter across my mind as she speaks.

"Have you ever wondered why a unique person tends to adjust and regulate to their surroundings?

"After the search group is despatched, very few authority will be at the Tank. So Hannah has enough flower solution to influence the CSU guard section..."

"They want to be accepted by the society and belong, they feel like they need to change their natural beings to resolve conflict and avoid revolution for the sake of everyone who would not care if they died or not.

"...and immobilise them. You run into the CSU, put the Zone One systems on a temporary shutdown. Do anything you have to do to put it in shutdown. You are stronger than you think. The systems will be inaccessible by anyone, except Zelch. He should not know before we get to the wall and disarm the guards on their duty. I have noticed that they take a while before they circulate duty. They will not be able to communicate because they you would have deactivated the CSU systems."

And they believe they are doing the right thing."

She has been talking about me. The note she left was for me.

I look back up at my mother, a fire growing within me. I am ready.

"We run back and together, fight anything Zelch puts up, and we will still have the upper hand of a free wall for some good time. He will have so much to deal with, confused, angered people, fighting opposition, a dysfunctional system and immobilised authority. It may confuse him. And we'll fight anything. Got it?"

"...For Dad," I manage to choke out, looking straight into her orbs.

She freezes, close to tears.

"For Dad," she repeats, seemingly broken, but she quickly hauls herself up and goes to the room where Hannah must be in.

I hear, "We are ready."

I swiftly get up in silence, preparing myself for the plan. The change. I keep on saying to myself the two words, but when I am ready to descend from this hill to execute the mission, I declare it for the last time, with a vigour and determination I had never thought I would possess in my voice:

"For Dad."