Secret sorrows of the heart (Black Butler/Kuroshitsuji fan fic)

Chapter 2: His dreams, and cravings

Sebastian awoke from a deep sleep. He hadn't slept since he contracted Ciel, and even the other four contracts he had before him, so waking up from a dream of Idris only made him wish he didn't close his eyes.

It was so surreal to him, the feel of her skin, the warmth, being inside her. Everytime he closed his eyes he saw her, whether dieing- or just like that night, he saw her.

She plagued his every thought more and more everyday, to where soon he knew he would snap- and let all of London know his pain, sorrow, and guilt.

Maybe if he had just stayed away from her he wouldn't feel this way.

Sebastian shook his head at that thought, even if he tried to stay away over time- she would eventually tempt him.

Sebastian slowly raised from the guest bed that he found himself on, and put on normal clothing instead of his usual butler uniform.

He would have to adjust to being free of his contract, and he would have to adjust soon. Sebastian flipped out his pocket watch and checked the time.

His eyes widened as he realised it was three in the afternoon. He had slept for that long and no commotion from the three blundering idiots woke him up?

"I see you have awoken sleeping beauty. Have a nice dream." The disgusting voice of Timothy asked.

Sebastian pivoted on his heel and was in a fighting stance withing minutes, his mind racing with many thoughts- most of them disbelief.

"I thought I-" Sebastian began to say but was interrupted.

"Killed me? Oh yes indeed you did, but you see- you're imagining me because you're slowly losing your mind. I'm here to give you a little push." Timothy said smirking that same smirk he had the night Sebastian ripped him to pieces and devoured all of his life force.

Maybe that's what was causing this hallucination, Timothy's left over life force.

Sebastian moved quickly around the room making sure everything was locked and no one could get into the room he was currently inhabiting. If anyone were to walk in on them it would seem like Sebastian was talking to himself.

"How do I get rid of you!?" He seethed whispered.

Timothy paced around the small guest bedroom, stopping at the window too look outside. He sighed heavily as he made his way over to the leather crawl chair in the corner of the room, he sat down-crossing his legs and smirking once again.

"Simple actually," Timothy replied. "You can't, well unless you... off your miserable self."

Sebastian huffed in annoyance, his normally burnt crimson orbs flashing fushia as he tried to contain all of his emotions. Everything was starting to bubble up again, everything he had been locking away. Everything remotely human related; yet the harder he pushed, the more difficult it became to not give in to the sinful rage.

How easy it would be to just switch the mental switch, and feel numb. Numb from guilt, from hate, from humans. But no, he had to get Idris back at whatever cost- losing control would only hinder him from getting her home, safe and with him.

Sebastian heard Timothy chuckle as he snapped back to reality. He narrowed his fushia glowing orbs at the loathsome demon entity sitting just a few mere feet away from himself.

Timothy stood up, picking at invisible lint on his clothing. He straightened out his crisp white suit and walked towards Sebastian.

"Your internal struggle fascinates me crow, but for now I think you should be more worried about that hunger you've been neglecting to notice maybe I should-" Timothy placed his right palm on Sebastians chest, slowly pushing it through, "Make it to where you can no longer forget about your gluttony."