We Met Because Of Death

The Things Music Can Do

Im completely lost. Where the fuck even am I? Is this the right way? I stop on the sidewalk and look around for Haylee's studio. I went the way she told me but I didn't see it. She was expecting me to be there by now. She was going to think I ditched her or something. This would be a great impression only known her for a few days and I was already late for our plan to meet. " Austin calm down Max will help you." Well tell him to hurry I don't want to be later than I already am. " Alright ,Alright hold on." 
" Austin just keep walking straight and then turn right." I do as they say and jog down the street. " Now look for the studio it should be right in front of you." I look and see the studio. Haylee was right it was kinda small but it was nice looking. It had two wide windows on the front of it. I walk over to it and open the door. The cool air hits me as the door closed behind me. It was a small room with a few chairs and the hallway walls were painted her favorite color and there was lyrics from different songs written all over in black sharpie. I walk down the hallway and walk into another room. There was bean bag chairs and a small couch in the corner. A pool table sat in the middle of the room it looked brand new not a single scratch or scrap. Posters of bands were all over the walls and drawings decorated each and every part that didn't have a poster on it. They were drawings of guitars , drums, pianos and a bunch of other things. One in particular catches my eye. A girl standing with a guitar in her hands. Her hair blowing around her. It had so much detail it looked like Haylee.The blonde hair, the figure ,the smile all of it was her. She stands in the arms of a man. A boy with brown hair and green eyes. A smile so wide was planted on his face. It was Max, they way he held her and they way they looked so happy it was like they were both standing in front of me. 
" Haylee drew that on our one year anniversary. It was an old picture we had took together." Max's voice sounded sad as he spoke. The memories  they had together, he was hurting just to even think about the memories. It reminded me of him.
" Austin I'm gonna take Max away from here, to get him away from this."
Her voice fades and I look around. Where do they even go anyways? A ghost realm or something? I sign and glance back at the drawing but turn back around when I hear music being played. In front of me is a glass window. Inside Haylee's sitting on a chair playing the guitar. I watch as her fingers play over the strings she didn't even realize that I was standing just a few feet away. She was so lost in the song. Her fingers just moving the melody was soft and sad. It was beautiful Haylee started to nod her head to the song her eyes closed and she starts to sing. My heart clinches in my chest. The song was her story her words explained things that I could never put in words. The memories all flood back the emotions hit me hard and my knees feel weak. I felt myself break all over again. The music stops but all I can see is Brittany in my head laughing while cooking in the kitchen ,she had loved to cook. Our first date together and the first thing she told me was how she wanted to be a chef. She talked about it so seriously and she was so determined to do it. But now she would never be able to. God why did she have to go so soon.
" Austin, Austin!"
I snap back into reality. Haylee has her hands on my arms looking concerned. I try to speak with nothing comes out so I just stand there and stare at her.
" Austin? why don't we sit down here ."
She grabs my hand and leads me to the couch. She sits me down and sits next to me still holding onto my hand. I look at our hands and notice my hands were wrapped around hers. Her hand was soft and small in my hand. I look at all the lines and trace them with my finger.
" Austin hey look at me."
I look up and stare at her. She gives me a small smile and squeezes my hand.
" Hey what's wrong you can tell me." 
" I'm fine , I'm fine sorry I just zoned out dont worry about me." " Was my music that bad?"
She chuckles but starts to bite her bottom lip as she says it.
" Oh no you were great I loved it, it was just sad.Made me...think of things."
She lets go of my hand and lays hers in her lap. I resist the urge to grab her hand and hold it tightly. I didn't want her to let go , I wanted to hold on just a bit longer.
" Oh I'm sorry if I had known you were here I wouldn't have sung it I'm sorry." 
" No its okay it was a beautiful song it just- I really understood it." 
She looks down at the floor. For a moment I see the pain in her eyes that reflected mine but it's gone in a flash as she clears her throat and sits up. She forces a smile and sits so she's facing me.
"So this is my studio um I tried to make it comfortable hope you like it."  
" Yeah I like it it's pretty cool looking I love the pool table. You play?" 
" Oh I use to but not much anymore I use to play it with my friends and Max. Max loved pool he was the one who bought it."
  I look at her, she had never talked about Max to me and now that she was I didn't see a single hint of pain in her face.  She was obviously use to hiding it. Was it good that she was talking about Max to me? It means she's opening up to me more, but just how much farther is she going to let me in?
" Pool is pretty fun I haven't played in years. Was um Max good at it?" 
" Yeah he would always win, he taught me how to play but I could never beat him, nobody could not even my friend Tyler and he's pretty good at pool too." Man she's really opening up today.
" Wow must have pissed a bunch of people off." She laughs and stands up walking over to the pool table.
" Yeah it did people use to come over here all the time and try to beat him they would even bet a lot of money. They would always lose though. This one time he ended up about a few hundred by just playing around with Tyler. He took us all out to eat that day. He offered to take Tyler too but Tyler doesn't take well to losing." 
" Don't blame him losing money to another man, and then him offering to buy food with the money he took that can hurt a man's  ego."
She smiles at me as I laugh. I stand up and walk over to stand next to her. I point at the wall towards the drawings.
" The drawings you did them? " 
" Yeah I use to love art back in high school."
             " Use to?"  
" Yeah I kind of just stopped after Max." 
" Oh well you should try it again you're pretty good at it."
She turns red and looks away.
        " I'll think about it." 
I walk to the window and to look in at the guitar and the drums. The guitar was worn out around the edges and the strings looked like they'd been replaced a few times.
" Yeah  it's a pretty old guitar. I've had it since my 15th birthday. Dave bought for me." 
" Really? It's not that bad for being that old." 
" Yeah it's held out for a while. I've tried to take care of it but I honestly don't know how much time it has left." 
" I think it'll last a little while longer."
  " Austin."
I turn to look at her. She's staring at me leaning against the pool table.
" Do they talk to You? Max and Brittany?"  
" Yeah, they talk to you?" 
" I don't let them. What have they told you?"  
" They told me that they are stuck here. They need us to be happy to move on."
" Did they tell you that they are together now?" 
" Yeah they told me that."
  " You're just okay with it? It doesn't hurt you?"
I walk over to her until I'm standing in front of her.  She looks up at me not bothering to hide her pain anymore.
  " It did hurt but I'm just glad that Brittany's happy that's all I want for her." 
  " I - I don't understand how could I just be so easy to forget. I thought he loved me. I know I should be happy that's he's happy but after years of him being gone and then he all of sudden pops  back in. Telling me..hes in love with another girl."
Her voices cracks and tears start to fall down her face. She starts to turn around but I grab her and wrap my arms around her. She tenses for a moment but then falls apart into my arms. Burying her face into my chest. I hold her, rubbing the back of her head.
" I know Haylee, I know your hurting and it must have been hard but Max loved you , he still does. I don't know him personally but I'm sure he would have never done anything to hurt you." 
" If he loved me then why does it hurt so much?" 
I sign and squeeze her, laying my head ontop of hers.
"  You loved him Haylee it's gonna hurt but Max loved you and I know it may be hard to believe but he wants you to be happy Haylee."
She doesn't say anything, she's no longer crying but she keeps her head in my chest. I have no intention of letting her go anyways. Us like this made me feel peaceful again. Everything else gone, nothing but peace.
" Was Brittany you're wife?"
  " No but I had planned on her to be."  
" Max was my fiance. The day he died.... he purposed to me. That's why it hurts so much after all those years I finally had fell in love but I... lost him."
She starts to cry harder I pick her up and walk over to the couch. I sit down and hold her letting her cry. I rub her back and bury my face into her hair. " I'm so sorry Haylee."

Haylee lays asleep on my lap. She had cried until she fell asleep. She'd been asleep for an hour now. I hadn't moved scared that i'd wake her. I run my fingers though her hair. My hand holding onto hers. While she was crying she gripped onto my hand and hadn't let go even after she had drifted off. Not that I mined, Dad was probably wondering where I was but at the moment I didn't care. I didn't really want this to end. She was hurting so much, it was good that she let some out but who knew how much more pain she had inside still. I was worried about her scared that once she'd wake up and if have to let her go her pain would come back. I didn't want to she her in pain again. Everything she told me made me feel even worse. She had it so much more bad than I did. All I wanted was to show her that she could be happy again. I wasn't gonna argue Brittany was right I was gonna fall in love her I could already see it. I liked her I really did, something I never thought I'd feel again but I was. She moves in my lap She lets go  of my hand to instead wrap her arms around me. I feel her chest fall and rise. I reach out to tuck a few strands of her hair behind her ear, just so I could see her face . She was so beautiful, I  couldn't imagine how a man would even think about hurting her like they did.
          " Austin?"
I hear Max's voice in my head. I sign they were back, I liked our time alone together. She got upset and she ended up falling asleep.
" She's opening up to you I told you things would work out Austin!"
Brit sounded happy And I feel hands on my shoulder. I look up seeing nothing but emptiness. I shake my head was I ever gonna get use to the fact that they're ghost? 
" Austin stop drifting so I can read your feelings."
" Brittany maybe he doesn't want you to give the guy a break." I hear Max laughing as he says it I could already sense Brit rolling her eyes.
" Fine but he'll tell me later." Haylee sits up startling me. She rubs her eyes, her hair a mess. Bits of it sticking out here and there.  She still rubs her eyes with a dazed look on her face.
" Hey" She looks at me for a moment confused. I notice her eyes are puffy from crying. Her rubbing them made them turn a bright pink.
" Im- I'm sorry I didn't mean to fall asleep on you. I-"
" Hey it's fine you had a rough day and you were tired."
She nods her head but her face still turns red.
" You didn't have to let me sleep on you, you could have moved me." 
" I liked letting you sleep in my lap, I didn't want to wake you." Her faces turns a deeper shade of red but she trys to cover it up with a yawn.
" Sorry I guess I'm just really tired."
" You can go back to sleep if you want." 
" No I'll be fine I'm kinda hungry anyways. Wanna order pizza?"
I watch as she stands up grabing her phone. 
"Sure sounds good." She leaves to call them. Making me feel kinda disappointed that she wasn't asleep in my arms still. At least it was something though.