Firecracker

Chapter 18

when I saw him kissing her, every part of me just started to ache. And I ran. I just ran. I don't know how I'm supposed to feel, disappointed?, sad?, betrayed maybe I don't know. I felt numb and for the second time today I stared out the window as the scenery outside whizzed past. I was on a train, heading home. To be honest I can't garuntee that this train was even going to Slough, I was so messed up when I bought the ticket, I don't even care if I were to end up far far away at this stage. This is what happens when you let your guard down. This is what happens when you fall in love with someone, they just hurt you. It rips you apart, you become so vulnerable and you forget that they have complete power over your heart and Rye just broke it into a million little pieces.
I got off the train, me cheeks stained with tears and I started the long walk home. I didn't bother ringing anyone to pick me up, dad and Bella were gone somewhere for the night anyway so it was no use. I was alone.
The minute I reached home I ran up the stairs and flopped onto the bed and just cried. I couldn't think straight, I was so mad at myself for ever trusting him and I was so mad at myself for letting my guard down, if I was the same person that I was 2 years ago this would never have happened.
My phone was lighting up like a Christmas tree every 3 seconds. I unlocked my phone in fury, about to turn it off altogether when I saw the Twitter logo, it wouldn't hurt to see what people have been saying would it...
I clicked into it and was immediately met with hundreds of notifications, but only certain ones stuck out to me
"Omg rye why would you ever date her"
"Guys I found her insta and she's so ugly"
"HAHAHA THIS IS A JOKE RIGHT"

But one stuck out to me the most, it was posted 12 minutes ago..

"Had a great time with you today rye pie, it was great catching up with you 😉😉"

I clicked into her profile and saw that the band followed her. She was pretty. Really really pretty. Prettier than me. No wonder he likes her more. I got frustrated and threw my phone, not even caring where it landed. I don't know why this is affecting me so much. I genuinely don't, I always vowed now to let a boy control my feelings this much but I really can't help it I'm In love with him which sucks because he kissed another girl.
I didnt even bother picking up my phone or changing my clothes. I just crawled under the duvet and fell asleep. With him on my mind, as usual.