My real life

Parents

So life right now is fine I guess. Not good not bad just fine.  My parents are making me more pissed off and sad more often now.  I told my school about my depression and anxiety and they told my dad.  About a month and a bit ago my dad said we would go see my doctor to see if I need pills or just someone to talk to.  He said that we would go sometime that week guess what!  We never did!  It's so great to have a dad that doesn't care and thinks your fine and doesn't need help.  Thanks.  I really need that.  Now he is making everything a big deal.  Like what the fuck?  The only thing I really want or ever wanted was for a dad that cares.  A dad that doesn't fake shit.  A dad that I can talk to without getting scared all the time. Basically the opposite of what my "dad" is.  I just need help.  Why can't he see that.  How can he see that I'm not fine. I can't feel emotions.  I can't see the happiness that everyone else sees. I wish my parents would tell me what they love about me instead of always constantly telling me what they hate about me. Thanks for basically telling me that you hate me.  I really need that.  It's just exactly what I need. Am I asking for too much?  Or am I asking for too little?  I can't tell cause you never asked me what I wanted. You never cared for my opinion.  Never cared for my say in things. So am I just randomly supposed to start now? Well kinda can't now. Everytime one of my parents talk I swear it's just bullshit coming out of there mouth.  All the time. Like why not. It helps me all the time.  -_-