I started something, it was just supposed to be a funny prank, nothing to get out of hand. I was wrong. Because I dared him a girl, a friend of mine (that I betrayed), attempted to kill herself. I never knew she had ever thought about suicide let alone attempted. She had once told me she self harmed once but stopped because it hurt her too much. I dare someone to prank text her, he took it too far, I reacted badly. She attempted suicide. It's my fault. My friend could have died because of me. I have to be the worst person in the world and now I want to die. She didn't die but she tried, I feel the need to die now. I deserve to die at this point, spend my days in a fiery hole with the devil himself. He's probably the only person who wouldn't hate me for what I did but thank me for joining him in the pit filled with the worst of the worst.
I didn't ever realize that bullies know what they caused, I didn't know that I ever would be a bully. I think I prefer being bullied to being a bully. I got suspended and then had to tell a class about what happened. I've lost a bunch of friends because of it, I started self harming again, I stole a few blades from the art class. Now my parents keep assuming that I'm cutting (I am but I'm finding other ways). I don't want to be alive at this point. I only ever feel numb or pain. Both fucking suck.
