What's the point of living if there isn't anything to live for? The hope of things getting better? Nope, it's been like this for 2 years now and nothing has changed, ya there's ups and downs but there isn't any good things that last. All good things come to an end; why can't that apply to bad things? The point of living and being good is to get into Heaven, but what if you fuck up too much and are sent to hell? A place for eternal pain. Sometimes I think Earth is like hell but then there are some good times here, siblings, friends, love. It's the bad times that stick out the most though, the depression, it tells me everything that is wrong with me and, well, there's a lot; I'm not pretty enough, I weigh too much, I have acne, I am antisocial, I'm a pessimist. I can't ever seem to get things right. I fuck up too much.
If life on Earth is so great for some people why is that some people get stuck with depression? Stuck with mental disorders, eating disorders, suicide constantly on their mind. It's not fair. Parent's say that everybody feels depressed at some point but how many people turn to self harm? How many turn to drugs, alcohol, suicide? I'm addicted to selfharming, I always try to get a drink and I've attempted too many times to keep track. I remember being about 4 and trying to strangle myself. What kind of fucked up kid does that?
Oh, that's right. Me.
