Random Things That I think....

Stupid Pick-Up Lines

Now, for these to be the slightest bit funny, read them aloud with a deep voice. Or to your mom. Or both. 

1. I have the F , the C, the K, all I need is U.

2. Do you want to know what the longest bone in your body is? Mine. 

3. Hi, my name is Doug. That's God spelled backwards with a little bit of you wrapped up in it. 

4. You be the Dairy Queen and I'll be your Burger King. You treat me right, and I'll do it your way. 

5. Are you going to kiss me, or do I have to lie to my diary?

6. You forgot my name? That's okay, you can call me yours. 

7. If I received a nickel for every time I saw someone as beautiful as you, I'd have five cents. 

8. There are plenty of fish in the sea, but you're the only one I want to catch and mount back at my place. 

9. You see my friend over there? He wants to know if you think I'm cute. 

10. Is your last name Gillette? Because you are the best a man can get.

11. I'm an astronaut, and my next mission is to explore Uranus. 

12. Wanna go halfsies on a baby?

13. Hey, I don't have your number, so let me hit on you real quick. 

14. It's really simple, but you make it hard. 

15. Are you Israeli? Cuz you Israeli hot. 

16. Will you be my Alentine? I'll give you the V later. 

17. Will you be my girlfrien? I'll give you the D later. 

18. Are you Jamaican? Cuz you Jamaican me crazy. 

19. Are you from Iraq? Cuz I wanna Baghdad ass up!

20. On a scale of 1 to Spongebob, how ready are you?

21. We're like cocoa and marshmallows; you're hot, and I wanna be on top of you. 

22. Are you a 90˚ angle? Cuz you're lookin right. 

23. Baby, you're as hot as the bottom of my laptop. 

24. Do you like dragons? Cuz in a minute, I'll be dragon these nuts across your face. 

25. Your face is a work of art. We should frame it. With my legs. 

26. How about you slip into something more comfortable. Like me?

27. You're like a Sharpie-- Super fine. 

28. I notice that you are having a hard time confessing your love to me. 

29. I think your eyes are the same color as my bed sheets. Lets go check. 

30. Is your name Katniss? Cuz you're causing an uprising in my district. 

31. You can call me rain, because I'm going to be getting you wet tonight. 

32. You say I'm too cocky, put your hand in my pocket, and you'll be feeling cocky too. 

33. You be the wind, and I'll be the sails. I'll let you blow me all night long. 

34. Violets are blue, Roses are red. What's it going to take to get you in my bed?

35. Do you play Pokemon? Cuz I wanna throw my balls at you. 

36. Your boobs would look good in my hands.

37. You are just like a snowflake; beautiful, unique, and with one touch, you'll be wet. 

38. You wanna know what's beautiful? Read the first word again.

39. Unlike Subway, my foot long doesn't cost $5.

40. You're dirtier than my browser's history. 

41. Baby, I last longer than a white crayon. 

42. Baby, I'm no weather man, but you can expect a few inches tonight. 

43. Are you an HTML code? Because, I would like to put you on my </body>.

44. You know my body is a temple, and I believe you should in for a midnight mass. 

45. What's the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my dick into your ass. 

46. I don't know if you're beautiful or not. I haven't gotten past your eyes yet. 

47. Are you Medusa? Because you make me rock hard. 

48. I can't help that I get a boner every time I see you. I can only apologize and hope you'll touch it. 

49. Your clothes are making me uncomfortable. Please take them off. 

50. Why go to a banana stand, when I can make your banana stand?

51. Girl, are you a beaver? Cuz dam.

52. Don't bite your lip. I wanna do that. 

53. It's not that I'm always horny, it's just that you're always so fucking sexy. 

54. You don't have to be fast food for me to eat out.

55. Damn girl, you must be a democrat, because I'm loving that ass.

57. Let me slip into something more comfortable. Like your vagina. 

58. Twinkle, twinkle, little star, let's have sex inside my car. 

59. They call me coffee. I grind so fine. 

60. Are your ankles having a party? Cuz I think your pants should come on down. 

61. It doesn't matter what you wear when you come over, cuz it's going to come off anyways. 

62. You like sleep? So do I. Let's do it together.

63. So, you're not in to casual sex? I'll put on a tux and we can call it formal sex. 

64. If you ever go camping and a bear attacks you, I hope it doesn't attack your face because you are beautiful. 

65. You'd look good in my arms. 

66. Hey, how are you? Fine? I asked how you are, not how you look.

67. Is your name Homework? Cuz, I'm not doin you, but I should be. 

68. Girl, you should sell hot dogs, cuz you sure know how to make a wiener stand. 

69. Just read the number.

70. Do you have any kids? No? Want to practice making some?

71. My magic watch tells me you don't have any underwear on. Oh, you do? It must be 15 minutes fast. 

72. Nice virginity. Can I have it?

73. Are you related to Yoda? Cuz yodalicious. 

74. I hope you have pet insurance, cuz your pussy is gunna get smashed. 

75. Your shirt has to go. But you can stay. 

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I might make a part two of these, cuz otherwise there'd be, like, 15 pages of pickup lines. Comment what you think was the stupidest one :D