Random Things That I think....

My Mom...

I wish that whenever my mom would get mad at me, or we'd get into an argument, that she would show any signs of sympathy when I look sad or started to cry. She never does. Not since I was really little. I miss it, ya know? I miss when she would hug me and say it's all right. I wish she would at least talk to me. I don't know what I did wrong. I just wish we could be a happy perfect family where everyone gets the same amount of love, where everyone cares about eachother. We used to be like that until Grandpa got sick. We used to be so happy and joyful all the time. We just fell apart. I don't what to do. God knows I can't say anything because then they'd get mad. The only person who cares about me and consoles me is my sister.

Sometimes I don't even know what I say. My mom says I'm her little girl and that she'll always love me, but I just wish she'd show it more often. Whenever I start crying when we are arguing, all she does is yell at me more and I need to walk away, but she just gets even more mad. Sometimes I can't take it and I sit in my room and cry, like I am right now. I can't talk to anybody about it because I hate people seeing me cry. No one at school has seen me cry. I don't even think Payton has. My therapist hasn't even seen me cry.

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It took a lot of guts for me to post this. If you do read it, please don't talk to me about it.