1. "Vacation" means going east or west on I-80 for the weekend... or going to Adventureland.
2. You measure distance in hours.
3. You know several people who have hit a deer - more than once.
4. You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day... and back again.
5. You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching.
6. You see people wearing camouflage at social events (including weddings).
7. You see people wear bib overalls to funerals.
8. You carry jumper cables in your car... and your girlfriend knows how to use them.
9. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
10. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
11. You know all 5 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, road construction & DAMN HOT!
12. Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your blue spruce.
13. You were unaware that there is a legal drinking age.
14. Down South to you means Missouri.
15. East to you means Illinois.
16. A brat is something you eat.
17. Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new pole shed.
18. You go out to a tail gate party every Saturday.
19. Your 4th of July picnic was moved indoors because your fire works melted.
20. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.
21. You find -20 degrees F "a little chilly."
22. You've never met any celebrities.
23. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway.
24. You've seen all the biggest bands... ten years after they were popular.
25. Your school classes were canceled because of cold.
26. Your school classes were canceled because of heat.
27. You've ridden the school bus for an hour each way.
28. You think ethanol makes your truck "run a lot better."
29. You know what's knee-high by the Fourth of July.
30. Stores don't have bags; they have sacks.
31. You install security lights on your house and garage - and leave both unlocked.
32. You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it no matter what time of the year.
33. You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition. Example: "Where's my coat at?"
34. All festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, or animal.
35. You think of the major four food groups as beef, pork, Mt. Dew, and Jell-O with marshmallows.
36. You know what "cow tipping" and "snipe hunting" is.
37. You own only three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup.
38. You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent.
39. You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and a flannel nightie.
40. The local paper covers national and international headlines on one page but requires 6 pages for sports.
41. You think deer season is a national holiday.
42. You actually understand these jokes, and you forward them to all your Iowa friends.
YOU ARE READING
Random Things That I think....
HumorThis is just some randomness that goes through my mind, I say, and or I do. If you read this, I am soooo sorry.
