Dear Jonathan

Chapter 12

Okay, in the last update, Dear Jonathan only had 1k reads. Now it has 3.7k reads.. guys.. how the fuck? I was literally in shock! Thank you so much for reading and for all of your comments! I love you guys! You can always share this story to your friends or family on whatever social media site: Facebook, Tumblr, whatever!  I don't have Facebook, but I do have Tumblr.

This is super long because the last chapter was very short.

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Jonathan

No.

3:57 a.m.

I am done thinking.

I'm done feeling.

I'm done smelling, tasting and hearing.

I don't even know if my heart is still beating.

The only thing I can make compute with my brain is the rejection of this doctor's diagnosis.

After everything Michael has overcome tonight including coming out of a fucking coma, getting a misdiagnosis, being medevaced to a different hospital, having a feeding tube removed, and the painful sanitation of his bed sores, we were not expecting such appalling news.

Maybe it's just me, but hasn't he been through enough shit already? Michael doesn't deserve this! I deserve it! Michael deserves a lengthy and healthy life, full of love. My love. Our love.

He deserves to wake up in the arms of his love, that would be me. He deserves the security and the knowledge that I'll never leave him again because he is the love of my life.. He deserves a big happy ending where we kiss passionately and somehow drive off into the sunset without a care in the world. But I guess that'll never happen now because he's going to die.

This was supposed to be our second chance, our ticket out! This doctor was supposed to tell us that Michael was going to get better, but after one quick cat scan, our hopes of ever having a normal life went up in smoke.

The new doctor assigned to Michael, Dr. Collins, asked if he could speak with me privately. Only after Michel agreed did I leave his side and follow the doctor to the hallway. He told me the disheartening diagnosis before he told Michael. I'm not sure when I came out of shock. I'm not sure when the doctor started to walk in the room. I can't even.

"No."

That's the only word that I am able to bring forth that interrupts the grotesque flow of words spewing from the doctor's lips for just a second, then he continues on. I can only catch little bits and pieces. None of this is making sense.

"You have maybe six months to live. Cranial bleeding. Too much scar tissue. Too many dead brain cells. Inoperable."

"No!" The word came a little more forcefully this time and I began to walk back in the room. Michael's face fell into his hand as he was hearing what I was previously told. Hearing Michael's fate the second time around was actually harder than the first. It was as if someone was bathing my ears in acid.

"You are beyond repair. Nothing I can do but make you comfortable. You'll need to start making the necessary arrangements."

"No! You're lying! You're lying to us!" I started charging towards the doctor but he quickly informed me that he would have me arrested if I laid a hand on him.

"For a doctor, you're a stupid motherfucker! You think I care about your stupid threats? I'll kill you. I'll fucking kill you! What did you do to him! You told me you were going to take care of everything!" I bristled, brushing past him back to Michael's side.