Dear Jonathan

Chapter 2

Part the second..

Dear Jonathan,

    

     I am writing this in vain because knowing you, you probably won’t read it... or then again, maybe you will. That's just a chance that I'm willing to take. These letters are a collection of my memories of you during a much happier and carefree time of the life that we shared together. 

Though I am not conscious, nor do I think that I'll make it out alive, I just want you to know one thing. No one, no sickness, no thing, life, death, no war, no distance or time can take away the love that I've had for you. It was always you.

You stole my heart and I don't know where you put it because I can’t seem to find it. I've looked for it for a long time and I wanted to fix it, but I have a funny feeling that I won’t be able to do shit about it even if I found it...

That's just the sort of effect you have on me. You probably have had that effect on every person you were involved with romantically I guess.

This is day one of my memoir. You see my body lying in the hospital bed? Can you do me a favor? Touch my hands and see if they are cold. Go on. Do it please? I'll wait.

Did you see that? After all this time you still make my heart skip a beat, and I'm not even awake to see you. How is that? I don't know. Amazing.

I am going to ask you for another favor now. Will you warm my hand in yours until visiting hours are over? They end at about nine. Nine thirty (or later) if you buy the nurse a coffee. But you probably won’t. I know you hate coffee, even more so the smell. It's ok if you don't want to. You don't even have to hold my hand. I'm pretty much used to being rejected by you. I had to get used to it and carry on... 

How long has it been? You left for the marines at twenty years of age. You are now twenty-nine years of age. Nine long, treacherous, heart wrenching years. If you would have died over there in Afghanistan... I don't even have the words...

Hell would be paradise for me if I had lost you like that.

Please put this letter back in the envelope, seal it and place it in the shoe box on the shelf to my left.

Inside the box was a pair of mittens with a note on top that read: 

Just in case you decide against the favor, will you put these on me before you leave? Thanks.

                                                       

                        All my love,

                                                           

                                          X.