Maybe It Was Fate

Chapter Thirty-Seven

Emotional pain was so much worse than physical pain. You can't escape it. There are no magical tablets to take and the pain subsides. No. You have to deal with it. The only medicine for emotional pain is time.

I'd moved more times than I can count in my life but none of them seemed to be this hard. I'd never formed bonds with people the way I have here.

Monday came around and I knew I was going to have to tell my friends. The mattress of my bed dipped from where I sat, similar to my heart from the dread that was stepping on it.

I twirled my thumbs between each other, playing out different scenarios in my head. All of them ended with me breaking apart and crying.

My brain couldn't seem to comprehend that I was really going to be leaving this place soon. Brown boxes sat half full around my room, memories seeping out. There was one box in particular that I couldn't seem to look at.

It was small. Intricate designs swirled around the lid, like tendrils of smoke. Inside, were photos. Photos of my friends. When I look at their smiles, frozen in time, all I can picture is their broken expressions.

"Allie! Time to go!" My Mothers voice is carried up the stairs and delivered to me in muffles.

I stand, my legs feeling weak like the rest of me. A wave of emotion hits me. I take a deep breath and nod to myself.

"You can do this. You have to." An attempt at self-reassurance.

My backpack hangs limply over my shoulder. I take the stairs one at a time, descending to heart ache.

Chris stands at the bottom, his expression mirroring mine.

I feel my face fall when my eyes meet his. The coffee stained irises of my happiness are now pools of sadness and pain.

Hot emotion floods my eyes and I fall into the arms of my boyfriend.

I can't do this. I don't want to.

I don't want to.

I just don't want to.

"I can't." I whisper, emotion grabbing at my throat and stealing my voice.

Chris's arms tighten around me, his hand resting on the back of my head.

"You can." He says to me, his voice thick.

I inhale him, the fear of forgetting that smell consuming me.

I pull away from him, not too far though. I let my hand find his, the warmth of his hand keeping my shaking hand steady.

He guides me towards the front door, to which I step out into the cool breeze.

I don't talk much on the walk to school, but then neither does Chris. The silence is enough.

The scenarios from my bedroom continue to play, like a film on repeat. Its haunting. I can't get the thoughts out of my head.

It's slowly killing me.

It hurts.

But I have to deal with it. I'm going to take the hit.

The halls of school are filled with familiar faces. Faces who will soon be strangers.

Jakob and Ethan are the first ones I see.

They both grin at Chris and I, jogging through the hall to meet us.

"Allie Bear!" Jakob calls, ruffling my hair.

I try to laugh.

"What's wrong?" Ethan asks, concern suddenly flashing through his eyes.