Born in Black and White

Chapter 22

Sherlock had returned from the crime scene and noticed that Kairi was still not home. He was disappointed in his brother, making her work such arduous hours, but from what he noticed since she started working for him, Kairi was intensely happy being challenged. A smile crept itself onto his face, respecting her devotion to her craft. It was an attractive trait. He tried to remove it quickly as John glanced at him while they walked up the stairs. He realized he was unsuccessful when he noticed John's small smirk. That earned John a glare.

As they made their way up to Baker Street, his thoughts disposing of the simple case they returned from. He was slightly annoyed that he made the trip out to the scene when it was an obviously clear case. Of course, it was no one's fault but his own since he was the one that had checked his police scanner desperately for new murders. The past few days had been a lot of new information for him to process and he needed something to center him.

The evolution of his relationship with Kairi shook him to his core. Ever since he met her, he was drawn to her. She was very pragmatic, like John, sincere like Molly, and incredibly intelligent in her own way. Her biggest draw back was her emotional side which absolutely infuriated him to no end. He couldn't understand why someone so intelligent and driven could seem to be leading such an empty and pointless life driven by emotion and fear.

He admitted to himself very early on that he was attracted to her in the way men are attracted to women, but it was something that was only slightly aggravating and manageable. As time progressed, he found himself enjoying her presence in the way that he was comfortable with John. He also didn't mind that she contested him. John also contested him frequently, but usually didn't put up much of a fight, losing his will to continue against his frustration with Sherlock's impertinence. Kairi never backed down from him and it was as impressive as it was annoying.

The more time they spent together after taking her on as a client and a friend, he became amused by her mannerisms and they way she would speak in deliberately ridiculous prose. In a sense, she was freeing to him, balancing almost, providing the chunk of personality that he was missing. He did not think that he wanted an emotional aspect present in his mind, but after John entered his life and his friendships with Molly and Lestrade began to deepen, Sherlock was beginning to see the point of having companions. They could be most invaluable.

In respect to romance, he still found it highly detestable. He just found it less detestable when Kairi was involved. There was a pull to her that he could not shake, no matter how fervently he tried, in the darkest most primal part of his brain, he knew he was afraid of what she brought out in him. He was afraid of her and her meaning in his life and he was afraid for her.

In the past, his experience with the one of two other tolerable members of the opposite sex was The Woman. She was an inherently selfish individual, driven by fulfilling her own purpose and means. Perhaps he had not found her quite as attractive as Kairi because of The Woman's inherent deviousness. Not only that, but The Woman's fascination with him had much to do with his mind and how to use it to further benefit herself. He did not feel that way with Kairi. She desired his mind and it was obvious from their most recent interaction that she desired him in a sexual manner, as well. In the end, he realized that she also valued his friendship - even though what he offered was paltry when compared to some.

He had many women who had shown interest in him, but he was sure their fascination was something made up of their imagined perspective of him as opposed to his actual personification. He knew he was particular, difficult some might say, but he preferred to go through his life without wasting time. He was constantly searching to give his mind something new to learn from. Experiencing the darkest, most misunderstood aspect of life - the human mind and it's murderous intent - was something that constantly surprised him and it enticed him.