Dear Diary: Stay Away

Entry 8: 5/20/2017

Dear Diary,

I'm sorry I lost you. I needed you so desperately, but I couldn't find you until now.

Dad hit me, again. I thought it was supposed to stop when I was 15, but here I am, almost 18 years old, and getting hit and kicked from my father. He tried kicking me out again. Honestly, I wish they had let me leave. My mother is the one who made my dad stop me. She's the one who won't let me leave.

I lost it Diary. I used to have all these notes on my phone. They had all my accounts and passwords, they had all my thoughts and dreams, they had small little pieces of info I would remember on random days, and they had things I wanted to remember forever. My parents took my phone and reset it before I could save all my stuff. Now it's all gone and I don't know anything about me anymore.

I feel like an idiot for not backing them up, but I also know I never thought I would have had them erased.

I can't talk to the people I used to before. They were on that phone as well.

I can't leave, they took away the only thing I could use to get to work, and now I'm probably going to get fired. I won't have money, I won't have a car, and this little town suddenly feels so empty because I have nothing to use to survive. 

I feel so lost diary. I have nothing. Not enough to leave, not enough to make it worth staying.

My leg hurts. I wish father hadn't kicked me so hard.

I haven't eaten in two days. I left so early for work after doing school so late that I missed breakfast. When I came back from lunch is when my problems began again, so I couldn't eat, and I was made not to eat dinner. Here I am today and still haven't eaten. I'm so hungry, I'm so tired, I'm so lost, I'm so alone. I don't know what to do now...

I'm glad you're here diary. You're the only one who won't judge me.

Please don't get erased just like my old notes. I need you more than them. Please don't be taken away like my freedom, I need you if I want to stay sane. Please don't abandon me like my parents, I need to know there is more than just pain and despair. Please just please stay with me diary.

Sincerely,

             Me.