Chapter 56

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"Welcome to my apartment, oh wait you've been here." Xiumin led me into his apartment. He turned on the TV. "Want any more food?"

"Gosh no. I'm stuffed." I recalled that Xiumin couldn't eat all of his food, so he paid for both of us. Even though he came close to finishing.

"I heard this movie is good," Xiumin said. "Now the question is....English subtitles or no?"

"Oh, let's try without. Give my brain a workout," I said, joining Xiumin on the couch. I sat down really close to him by habit, and then froze. "Oh, sorry." I scooted away from him, but then he grabbed my arm and pulled me back closer to him. Our faces got really close, and he looked like he would kiss me. 

"Sorry," he said, and looked away to the TV. 

I looked away too, and started listening closely to the Korean dialogue in the movie so I could understand. 

Several minutes later, Xiumin looked at me. "What are you studying at university?"

I looked back at him. 

"I should know this, I should remember it, but I don't. But I want to know."

"Psychology," I answered. 

"You want to be a psychologist?"

I shrugged. "Eventually. But I also like learning about why I am the way that I am. Psychologically."

"Interesting," he said. "I studied music. Oh wait you probably knew that."

"Yeah," I blushed, and looked back at the movie. I missed dialogue and was confused again. 

"Do you play any instruments?" Xiumin asked. 

"Minseok," I said. "I don't know what's happening in the movie if you keep talking to me."

He laughed, and threw his arm around me. My heart skipped a beat. "Sorry. You don't need to listen to everything in the movie, you know. Like right now? Filler conversation. Unimportant to the overall plot."

I gasped quietly. Xiumin's eyebrows pushed together as he looked at me. "What?" He asked. 

"I'm sorry," I said. "It's nothing. We've just had this conversation before."

"I don't remember."

"I know."

Xiumin smiled, and leaned in a little. "What happened next?" 

I blushed. "You kissed me."

His eyes blinked quickly back and forth between my lips and eyes until he slowly leaned in and started passionately kissing me. I kissed back, running my hands through his hair and he gently pushed me down into the laying down position and he leaned over me. Xiumin was on top of me. Again. 

I remembered how last time I stopped him. But maybe this time I wouldn't. 

Xiumin traced kisses to my neck, but then he stopped. A blank look was on his face, and he sat up. He helped me up to our original sitting positions and we sat in silence. 

"I'm sorry." He spoke after the most awkward period of silence. 

"For what?" I asked. I felt like I was snapping at him. 

He shook his head. "It's not okay."

I rolled my eyes. "I've known you for over a year and a half and I've always liked you. There was nothing wrong."

"I just don't remember you. No matter how hard I try."

"That's okay," I told him. 

"I want to remember you. You seem familiar and I like you. But I feel like I'm behind all the time. We can't start over because you remember everything I don't."

I exhaled. 

"I think I kiss you because I think I'll remember. But I don't."

I looked at him. "I'm willing to start over, Minseok. I love you so much."

"I don't think I can."

I bit my lip, looking away. "Okay. Should I leave now? It's weird in here now." I stood up to leave. 

"Aubree," Xiumin said, standing up with me. "Promise me."

"What?" I asked, blinking back tears. 

"Don't throw up when you go home."

"Oh my gosh, Minseok." I turned to walk to the door. "I'm not stupid."

"I'm not either."

I walked out. As I was walking, I noticed Johanna was calling my phone. "Hello?" I answered in English, then swore. "Yeoboseyo?"

"Aubree? Are you doing anything tomorrow?"

"No."

"Do you want to fly home with me for Christmas? Chanyeol is still on tour and I think a visit to our parents is overdue."

"I suppose."

"Okay. Let's meet at the airport at 11 am."

"Okay." I hung up, and focused my mind on packing the rest of the night instead of throwing up because I was so upset.

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