Chapter 30

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I walked over to the sofa and sat down, and Xiumin sat across from me on the other sofa. I wouldn't look at him. "In the fall I dated a guy. Seth," I said. "It didn't take long for him to find out that I had a problem with eating, and he wanted to help." I stopped, rolling my eyes. "Everyone wants to help."

"Right," Xiumin said, nodding.

"But then he broke up with me, and immediately started dating this other girl, Tess. He was really only pity dating me. Tess is...probably the worst person I've ever met. My weight has shifted around in a 15 pound window these past few months, and she closely observes. I came back from Christmas healthy, and she called me chubby."

"What?" He questioned. "Why would--"

"She's just an awful person. She called attention to me. It's just because she thinks I'm doing this to get Seth's attention. I'm not," I clarified. "Then I lost control, and I got under 100 pounds - the lowest I've ever been. But since, I've been working on getting better. I've gained some back, but it's hard."

"Do you have a goal weight?" Xiumin asked.

"Yeah. I have 15 pounds to gain."

Xiumin exhaled a little, raising his eyebrows. "Have you considered working out? You'll gain weight and muscle, but not body fat. That's what scares you, right?"

I slowly nodded. "Gaining weight scares me. I'm afraid I won't like what I see and lose control again."

"You could come work out with me in the mornings. I always go before I begin practicing for the day. I can try to help you," he said.

"I don't know if Johanna will let me."

"I mean, yeah, it's important for you to not become addicted and abuse yourself that way and overdo it--"

"Well, that and..."

Xiumin leaned back in the sofa, rolling his eyes. "Right, the age difference."

"Yeah."

"I'll talk to them. Don't worry." He looked at me again. "Okay, let's change the subject. You're graduating in two months. How's that going?"

I cringed. "Not well."

"Not well?"

"I'm trying to get my grades up. I always skip my morning classes because of Tess. It was the only way I could get better."

"Bree," Xiumin said, laughing. "Do you know what college you're going to?"

I broke eye contact. "I'm stuck between two colleges. I'm accepted and financial aid is all good to go, I just have to decide."

"Yeah?"

"There's a state college back that's an hour away from where I live in the States," I said. "But a lot of people from my high school go there. I think I'm afraid Seth and Tess will end up there."

"Okay, what about the other?"

"Konkuk University?" I said, hesitantly.

Xiumin raised his eyebrows. "Konkuk. That's here--"

I nodded.

"You want to go to university here?"

"I don't know--"

"You don't like Korea," Xiumin said. "You don't know Korean. You don't even like Korean food."

"I know!" I exclaimed, frustrated. "I don't know why I applied, and I don't know why I got accepted and why I'm considering it so much. I don't know why I keep coming back to Korea to visit, I don't have to! But I do."

"Do you miss your sister?"

"No," I quickly said. "I mean. Maybe a little. But I'm okay without her, and she treats me like a child, even though I'm three years younger than her." I wouldn't look at Xiumin. I wanted to be in Korea because of him. That's why. But it was so crazy--why would I change my whole life around one guy that I have no chance with?

I'm not Johanna. I'm not lovable, I'm not gorgeous, I'm not happy, I'm not healthy. I'm the opposite of what an celebrity should marry. Johanna could have gotten away with marrying Chanyeol, but I could never get away with dating--nevertheless marrying Xiumin.

"When are you coming back?" He asked.

"Summer." I remembered my conversation with Tess before I left. In reality, I wouldn't be back until the summer, but I wish it was possible for me to visit Korea while everyone went to prom.

"You just don't have a date, because no guy wants a girl who is as concerned about her weight as you."

"You still have time to decide on university--"

"Minseok?" I asked.

"Yeah?"

"Do you..." I exhaled. This was crazy. Why would I even ask him this? My heart started racing. Maybe I should make sure he's even remotely available. "Are you dating anyone?"

"Am I dating anyone?" He repeated. "No."

"No?"

"No." He quietly laughed. Was this entertaining to him? "What's this about?"

"Nothing," I said. "I just remember back at Christmas, Johanna said she would try to set you up with her friends."

"I don't know how Chanyeol does it, but I really don't have a lot of time for a woman in my life."

My heart sank. "Oh."

"I would make time if there was someone, though."

What? "In a month, is your schedule really busy?"

Xiumin started laughing. "Bree, what is this about? Just tell me. We're friends, remember?"

Friends. Okay. "Do you know what prom is?"

He was still laughing. But it was nice, he wasn't laughing at me. "Of course I know what prom is. Chanyeol and Johanna were talking about visiting when you go. Do you have a date?"

"They were?" I asked. This still shocked me. Why didn't I know this? "I don't have a date. I don't really want to go."

"You should go," Xiumin said. "You might regret it if you don't."

I looked away, thinking about Tess's words. "I'd feel differently if I had a date."

"Don't you have friends you could go with?"

"No."

"No?"

"I was considered rich trash for a while, and then this year no one wants anything to do with me because of what Tess says to everyone."

"That really sucks," he said.

I closed my eyes for a second, mentally preparing myself. "Okay. Since we're friends, I figured I could ask this. If you're not doing anything that weekend...do you think you could fly over with Johanna and Chanyeol and go to prom with me? Wow, I ask like that's so simple. It's okay if you can't-"

"It is simple," Xiumin said, laughing. "Chanyeol and Johanna were going to go because EXO has that week off. I don't have anything going on." He smiled. "I would love to go to prom with you."

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