another side

chapter eight

Despite how I might have liked to stay in bed forever, I knew I had to face the music eventually. Every day I spent hiding was just putting off that first day back even longer.

And so, that Tuesday, I pulled myself together and hauled ass into school. I walked my usual route, but I requested that Levi would meet me at the gate rather than the picnic table. I didn't want to end up alone with Nate or anything like that. I had never even called him back.

"Hey Lee." I greeted when he walked over. I noticed he had five safety pins attached to his blazer along with a badge for one of his indie bands he liked. I swear, he couldn't go even a day without risking getting in shit. I think it gave him an adrenaline rush to see how long he could go before a teacher called him out.

"Hiya." He said. He stared at me closely for a moment as though he was trying to figure something out. "You don't look so good, kid."

"I was sick yesterday." I stated.

"It's not...sickness. It just looks like you've had it rough." He explained.

"Well, I guess I have." I shrugged. I knew he could sense that something was going on, but so far he didn't have an inkling as to what that was. "You know if Nate is in yet?"

"I believe he is." Levi said and put his arm around me noticing how my face fell. "It'll be alright. I'm sure he got all his upset out yesterday."

The fact he had been upset at all killed me. I just wanted him to get over it and forget we were ever a thing. I didn't ever want to discuss our relationship again and I didn't want to find out whether or not he would hate me for what I did. I just wanted our break to naturally become permanent, no discussions necessary.

I slinked behind Levi to the table and I began to feel ill again the moment I saw the back of Nate's head. He turned around when he heard us trudging through the puddles and I noticed him try to smile, but it faltered. Instead of sitting beside him, I walked around the other side and sat with Levi. That's where I had sat before Nate and I ever dated, but he had insisted I sit beside him after he asked me out. I guessed I didn't have to do that anymore.

"You never answered last night." He stated.

"I was sleeping." I said.

"You declined my call."

"That was my sister."

"Oh."

I was going to try to say something to fill the silence, then it was filled instead by a cacophony of giggles and low snickers and I looked up to see the hulk which was Aaron a few feet ahead, with Carmen in his horrendously muscular arms. She was laughing and letting him hold her. She seemed fake happy, but it still stung. Why had I expected any different? Did I think she was going to leave him for me? Really?

What did shock me though was that she was with him after he cheated on her with her best friend. I assumed it was for appearences, but I couldn't be sure about that.

I caught her eye by accident while his lips were pressed against her cheek. She didn't even flinch.

When the bell rang she disappeared with him. She arrived late to registration as usual, hair frazzled. She had lingered at the door with Aaron until he was told to go to his own class. I could hear her talking about him behind me, her voice raised as though she was trying to make me hear. At break she dragged him to the lockers and stood near mine – which is notably nowhere near either of their lockers – and he went to kiss her but she turned her head to look at me as his lips collided with her cheek. I could feel her eyes seering into my skin, but I pretended she didn't exist. I wasn't going to give her that satisfaction. I shoved my books in my bag and stormed off.