Bad Liar

Chapter Two

~Alice~

The sun seeped through the crack in my curtains shining across my eyes, the room felt colder than usual it smelt fresher than usual. With curiosity I crossed the room to my window, pulling back the curtains I saw the open window and pushed it open even further. Leaning out with my elbows resting on the large window ledge, taking a deep breath I allowed the cold air to travel through my lungs waking up all my senses, the first few people were setting up at the market, people in high visibility jackets were sweeping the road a black cat ran through the square. My head felt heavy, it felt clouded my thoughts were muddled yet racing without a sense of purpose, I couldn't pin a single one down I couldn't think a single thing I could hardly think but that seemed to be all I did, think. The thinking never stopped, the thoughts never stopped they twisted inside my head morphing and changing day to day.
"Morning darling." Mum peeked her head round the door cautiously before walking the whole way in and sitting on my messy bed, clasping my hands around the wood of the window I slammed it shut flicking the catch back in place.
"Morning." I shuffled back over to my bed crawling silently into mums awaiting arms. "How you feeling?" She muttered into my hair.
"Tired but okay."
"Alice about last night, your dad and I, were incredibly worried." She pulled away from me looking me directly in the eyes, her soft eyes scanned my face as mine did to hers. Her blonde hair scraped back, pieces messily sticking out from a night of sleep, her blue green eyes shone brightly but they seemed clouded they seemed sad.
"I-I." I hesitated not sure what to say.
"Baby you can tell us anything, never be scared to come to us please." Mum's eyes pleaded with mine, pleading for the truth. Everything in the world stopped for that moment, all I could see were mum's eyes begging me to tell her all I could feel was her warm hands holding my cold ones, gently drawing circles with her thumb on my palms. I fought the words, I fought the tears, I fought the truth.
I lost.

"I just get really overwhelmed sometimes, it sometimes feels like there's this pressure in my chest and suddenly every part of my body is going into overdrive." Wrenching my hands away I wiped the few tears that had fallen averting my gaze to my legs which suddenly seemed like the most interesting things on the earth.
"Oh baby why didn't you tell us?" Mum cooed pulling me back into her affectionately stroking my back.
"I didn't think much of it." Lie.
"Now we know we can help, let me speak to your dad and see what he thinks." She sighed.
"I love you mum." Truth.
"I love you too." Lie.
Mum left the room, presumably to wake dad up so I did what any paranoid teenager did, silently I followed, positioning myself outside there bedroom door straining my ears.
"Did she tell you baby?" Dad spoke softly to mum.
"Yeah." Mum's voice sounded heavy, it sounded thick with tears.
"Linda don't you cry." Dads voice was stern but soft and I knew he was holding her like a child in his arms.
"I think she has anxiety, she said that she gets this pressure in her chest and every part of her body feels like it's in over drive. It makes sense, Sharon came in yesterday to say she literally bumped in to Alice, she said Al seemed really on edge." There was a deep sigh I couldn't work out if it belong to mum or dad.
"Right then, we'll take her to the doctors and see what they say, baby it'll be okay." Dad spoke softly to mum as her sobs echoed in my ears I made her cry.
"She's been shutting herself off for months what if she's also depressed, what if-" Mum suddenly stopped as dad's voice quickly and sharply cut over her.
"Linda we don't know anything for sure, we can't presume anything we just need to wait for the doctors, I'll get on the blower to them later make her an appointment, we'll take it from there. Don't cry my darling." That was all I could hear that was all I could bear, I could still hear mum's soft cries through the walls once I retreated back to my bedroom crying silently, for each cry I could hear of mum's I emitted my own, they shook my body leaving me paralysed.
I pressed my hands firmly onto my thighs in order to try and stop myself shaking so violently, my fingers grazed them and my mouth went dry, the tears stopped as my mind focused on one thought, one destructive thought, one thought that would stop the shaking, stop the crying, stop the pain.