Bad Liar

Chapter Twenty Three

- Chris P.O.V -

"Chris." I heard my name echo down the corridor as I made my way back to my office after leaving Alice at the car. After leaving her when all I wanted to do was stay. Leaving her when I knew she needed me most.
Turning on my heels I saw Clare stood in her office door, my god she was an intimidating woman. Even though we held positions on the same pay grade she still made me feel like a naughty school boy, waiting and expecting to be reprimanded at any moment.

"I think it's about time we had a serious conversation about Alice, don't you." The door clicked shut behind her. My heart stopped beating. My brain lit on fire. It all came crashing down.

"What do you mean.' I stuttered out, leaving her face looking confused.

"Chris how can you not know what I mean."

"Surely it's gotten to a point now where she can't be in school. She's becoming more unstable." Icy cold waves of relief crashed through me and I almost wanted to be sick as the prickly heat of terror subsided from my skin.

"That is conversation, and decision that needs to be had between all of SMT, Sarah and Alice's parents." I watched as she admitted defeat - before an argument had even begun - with my hand wrapped tightly round around the slick door handle, Clare won the argument, the argument that hadn't even begun, the argument I didn't even know we had entered into till this moment.

"Trust me when I say, she is going to push so many people to the edge. I only hope they can all come back from it." Refusing to turn round I swallowed the lump in my throat and charged out the room wasting no time in grabbing my things from my office and heading to my car.

The rain crashed down on my windscreen and no matter how fast I put my wipers, the water was coming thick and fast, my fingers tapped on the steering wheel along to the soft humming of the radio and rain combined. Craning my neck I looked ahead to see if there was any sign of the lights going green anytime soon, sighing I looked out the passenger window across a park of some description, it was usually popular with dog walkers but everyone had understandably abandoned the muddy grass and pelting rain and opted to stay inside - apart from one person. A small figure walked tirelessly across the field, a black denim jacket dripping with water and mud splashed legs. White blonde hair stuck to the girls face like seaweed to a rock in a storm, as she got closer to the car I noticed the school tie and my brow furrowed in confusion - school finished hours ago and this wasn't an area where many, if any, of our students lived. I began looking harder, trying to see if there was anything I could pick out to identify who it was, the girl pulled her left hand out her pocket and pushed the damp hair off her face and as she did that I realised all at once who it was.

Scrambling out the car, not caring about shutting my door, I ran across the field. "Alice." I shouted, her startled and confused face looked up at mine and she instantly began running towards me before crashing into my arms "Alice why are you out here?" I questioned as the rain began to fall even harder than before and the wind picked up, whipping water droplets into something that felt like daggers piercing the delicate skin on my face.

"I- I had to leave." She stuttered out, her words getting lost in the violent weather around us. Clasping her hand in mine I led her back to the car, ignoring the angry shouts from drivers having to narrowly pass my abandoned car.

The journey to my house was spent in silence, the radio switched off inviting the potential for conversation - the heating on full but even then Alice's body shook like a frightened animal, her skin porcelain white and lips tinged blue.

"I'm going to run you a warm bath." I spoke softly as I gently guided her into the bathroom, watching as water dripped off her trailing along the floor. She sat herself down on the closed toilet seat, staring intently down at her shoes that were covered in brown sloppy mud. I leant down and swiftly untied the laces before slipping the ruined shoes off her feet.

"Give me your clothes and I'll put them in the wash." Carefully I began slipping the sodden jacket from her delicate shoulders, Alice just sat there - gaze and hands not moving. Sighing softly I began to undress her; first slipping the tie from her neck before fumbling at the small damp buttons of her shirt with my cold fingers. As I began to undo her jeans I saw her flinch as my cold fingers made contact with her paper-pale stomach, manoeuvring my arms under her armpits I pulled her body up and let her rest on me as I fought to pull the now heavy material down her legs before slipping her feet finally through them.
By this time the bath was ready so I turned the water off before beginning to take off Alices underwear. For the first time in a long time, I struggled and fumbled with her bra clasp - like a young boy attempting to undo his first bra in the hopes of getting something more. After a small fight I managed, and then pulled the soft silky material of her knickers down her legs - leaving her completely exposed and naked.

And in this nakedness I saw such truths.

Her naked body screamed vulnerability, not sex or passion like it usually does. It was a vulnerability so intense that I realised how damaged she was - I could see every scar and every cut. Bones protruded and jutted out, making sharp angles not soft rounded corners. Yet I also saw how much I loved her, I saw her and her truth. I saw her soul.

After helping her tired body into the bath I turned away to gather her damp clothes and to head to the washer. Within a nano second of my back being turned I felt a cold shaky hand grab mine followed by a voice so quiet it was hardly audible - "Get in with me." Smiling softly I quickly took of my own soaked clothes, Alice scooted down the bath a little giving me the space to get in behind her.
She pressed herself back into my chest and I cradled her tiny frame in my arms, pressing my lips to the top of her head - the taste of shampoo and rainwater lingering on my lips.

We sat in an all engulfing silence for the best part of an hour - I muddled through and managed to wash Alices hair, only getting shampoo in her eyes twice. I told her to go to my bedroom and put on some clothes while I washed hers, when I eventually joined her she was curled up on top of the bed with a baggy jumper hanging from her body. She had her knees pulled up to her chest and was hugging so tightly I was surprised she could breathe - whenever Alice felt particularly scared and upset she liked to make sure she knew she could feel her body, weather she sat on her hands, clenched her knuckles or curled up in the tightest ball you've ever seen. She also hated being touched, at times like this the only person allowed to touch Alice was her, no other skin could make contact with her own.

Throwing on some joggers I lay down on the bed next to her, watching as soft tears fell from her eyes slipping across the bridge of her nose and pouring all down and off the left side of her face. "Mums pregnant." She choked out, shattering the silence that had become deafening. "They're trying to replace me." The first sob of many that evening cracked from her lips.

"Al do they know you're safe." I asked softly, watching as her head nodded softly - "They think I'm at a friends, from the stables." It was another lie to add to the many that had already been weaved about our relationship that we both just hoped no one would pick at or put under a microscope.

In that moment I realised the true reality of what we were doing here, of what we'd created. The deception and the damage, the lies and the love.

Surely this had to all be worth it? For love at least.