Bad Liar

Chapter Fourteen

~Alice~

October 25th

Three weeks ago I sat on the edge of the bathtub at two in the morning, three weeks ago I slipped and began hurtling down to rock bottom at a tremendous speed. There was no gentle fall, no gradual decline, no slow sinking feeling till I settle at the bottom of the ocean and just lie there, unable to move a muscle and swim back to the top.

It was one step, one step down then I fell my body fell and fell and I didn't think I'd stop, but I did. I hit the ground each bone in my body cracking, each muscle contracting, each cell shutting down as the pain overtook and became to much.

Yet somehow, I've just about managed to get out bed each day and go to school, my presence may be there but I'm not present.

Maybe that was good, maybe school was good because it did that, it got me out of bed, and it was the only thing that did. It was now half term, it was the Wednesday and I was yet to get out of bed, to shower to change to open my curtains, to eat, to do anything other than blankly stare at a TV I wasn't really watching.

My parents came in constantly, so did Nance and Johnny. Asking me questions trying to get me to move but each time I curled further up in my duvet and ignored them, and each time they became more and more frustrated.

"Sarah's coming over tonight." The door creaked open and mum stood there in her little pink dressing gown, hair in curlers and lady Di snuffling round at her feet.
I nodded my head mutely in response, I wouldn't get out of bed on Monday to go to therapy and of course my parents rang her.

The door opened again and presuming it was mum I just kept one watching 'Homes Under the Hammer.' The clicking of heels resonated across the wooden floor, hurting my ears as the sound seemed sharp and and cutting compared to the low, almost fuzzy volume of the TV.

When the curtains were pulled back I almost hissed in pain, "Close them." I said, not even bothering to raise my voice above a whisper.

"Ah so it speaks after all." This voice wasn't soft, it wasn't motherly, it wasn't mum's. My head snapped up and I saw Shirley stood at the end of my bed partially obscuring my view of the TV.

"Go away Shirley, please." I sighed gently, sinking back down into the bed and turning towards the door, facing away from the light and from her. The bed dipped beside me and it took everything in me not groan out in protest.

"You need to get up Alice, you can't rot in this bed all holiday." I'd say her voice was soft and gentle but it wasn't, Shirley didn't do soft and gentle she just did a little bit less harsh and loud.
"Please go away." I cried out, wanting to desperately be alone wanting to just be left.

"Al come on, go and shower you'll feel better, it'll get your mum off your back as well if she sees you up." I turned around in the bed, trying to be quick but my movements were sluggish at best, and faced Shirley.

"No I don't want to, just leave me alone." I cried, letting the tears run down my face as I became increasingly more irritated and frustrated that I couldn't just be left alone. Shirley placed her bony hand in the small of my back and rubbed it soothingly, I ran my hands through my hair, well I tried too. My hair was greasy and matted each tangle intricately knotted together.

"I know, I know it's hard and I know your hurting but please we're worried. Would you like Bex to come over? Just sit with you? She was over the other day worrying about you." I knew deep down I had to drag myself up, if I didn't do it today then I probably wouldn't be able to do it on Monday, and if I couldn't make it to school then I may as well confine myself to rot away until I most likely die.