You Don't Want Me...I'm A Wreck...

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I awoke to the sound of shouting and yelling.

"Dude! Talk to him! Apologize!"

"Why should I? He keeps ignoring me! Not to mention being a dickhead!"

"He's ruining himself! Apologize to him! Talk to him at least, the bands hardly even the same anymore! We've all drifted away, as if we're strangers."
"Zach's right, we've never gone so long without talking, fucking about and all that shit."

I forced my eyes open to see the tour bus, the guys were sprawled across the couch, Alex sprawled across Zacky's lap, his arm draped around the back of the couch. I turned around in my bunk and silently let the tears fall, gripping the covers tightly. Closing my bunk curtain slowly I blocked out their conversations, lighting up a cigarette.

After taking a few drags I examined the end of it. The burning ash littered down onto the bunks sheets. Taking forever to land down onto the bed.

I finished it off and put the blunt back in the case, pulling out another repeating the process.

Feeling in daze I curled into a ball, covering  my eyes with my blond and brown hair, letting more tears fall freely.

Why didn't he want me?
Why doesn't anybody I want, want me back?

How could Alex like me yet steal MY boyfriend?

Was I just used?

Questions constantly filled my mind along with the negative comments at the back of my head. You're ugly Jack. No one would want you, no one would like you. You're a crazy super hyper dude with an awkward sense of humour and just plain weird. Keep dreaming Jack, Zacky probably never even wanted you.

I scoffed to myself, lighting another smoke.

The chit chatting stopped.

"I smell smoke." Zach pointed out.

"Yeah, I think we all do."

"Is he awake?" Alex murmured, probably to Zacky.

"I think so,"

The curtain was suddenly ripped open causing me to jump a little, putting on a pissed off face I slid out of the bunk, emptying the ashes onto the table as I passed, heading off the tour bus.

"Jack! What the hell are you doing?" Alex asked as I shoved passed him.

"Getting away from you!"

"Dude, we're meant to be best friends, what the hell happened. Why are you acting like this? You're fucking smoking? Why?"

"We WERE best friends Alex, WERE! You know when I collapsed on stage I was hoping for you to actually come and catch me when I fell, but no, you continued to be a dickhead by trying to publically humiliate me as I struggled to stay awake. You admitted your feelings for me then go off, I get fucking drunk and ZACKY leaves me so you jump into the free chance and take him. You're both dickheads. Do you have ANY idea of what pain I've been going through Alex? You hurt me, you don't pick me up. You just kick me to the kurb and carry on enjoying your life. We're meant to be brothers, yet you just treat me like SHIT!"  My eyes welled up with tears. Punching the bus.

"I can't take it anymore. I'm-I'm fucking leaving"

"No." Alex said, still in shock at what I'd just said.

"We've been in this band since 9th grade Jack, you're not leaving. I tell you. You're not." Rian grabbed my arm tugging  me away from the exit door.

I muttered something under my breath.

"Huh?" Rian asked.

"I did drugs." I said simply.

"You didn't...did you?" Zacky finally came foward, staring at me in disbelief.
Who would ever believe that THE Jack Barakat would do drugs?

"Yeah, I snorted. I took pills. Why do you think I collapsed on stage? And you know what? I enjoyed every minute of it. I get stocked up-" I was cut off by a blow to the face, wincing at the pain my head banged onto the hard flooring of the tour bus.

"WHAT THE FUCK?!"
Zacky pinned me to the ground. "WHAT THE HELL JACK? WHY? You're going to ruin your career, your life."
"Oh believe me, I did it, and I do it again!" I grinned, letting him hit me more.

"Zacky get off of him!" Alex yelled at him.

"Take your anger out. Though it should be me beating the shit out of you Zacky. You broke up with me, not even offficially. I just walked in on you making out with Alex to know we were over."

He stopped, silent.

I pushed him off of me, got up to my feet, grabbing my guitar and my bag of clothes which I was too lazy to unpack.

"And for the record, Josh Francheski and me made out. How does that feel? Plus he's a better kisser than either of you will be," I smirked at Alex and Zacky as the rest of the band stared at me wide-eyed.

"I'm leaving. Go find yourself a new guitarist. Someone who isn't gay. Who knows, mabye Zacky could join All Time Low, that'd be a new addition."

I ran a hand through my unbrushed hair, pushing it into my eyes and hopped off the bus.

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I walked to You Me At Six's bus and let myself in.

Josh was laying on his bunk on his phone. Probably tweeting, which came to think of it.I hadn't tweeted in a while.

Tapping onto the pen and paper icon on my twitter homepage. I typed in a tweet.

JackALLTIMELOW - No longer a member of ALL TIME LOW. Just the regular guitarist Jack Barakat here.

Tapping the tweet button a thousand replies came filing in every minute.

'Oh my god! Why!!!!'

'Duuuuuuuuude! Noooo!'

'OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG'

'Nooo! You were like the awesomest person of the band! Go back!'

I changed my name back to normal and locked the screen.

I put my stuff down and walked up to Josh, crawling into his bunk, wrapping my arms around him tightly.

"Jack? What's wrong?" Josh put his phone down and looked at me sympathetically. Returning the hug.

"I quit the band." I said simply.

"What? Why Jack?"

"I collapsed on stage today, Alex was being a major dickhead."

"Yeah, I was waiting for you to come off stage before, you weren't there. They had another guitarist fill in for you, I think it was Alex's boyfriend."

"Aka; My EX." I finished off. I felt a pang in my chest that they hadn't stopped the show, they just carried on like nothing happened. Alex wouldn't necessarily give a crap, he would just be excited to get to play and kiss zacky on stage. Though Zach and Rian wouldnt want to dissapoint the fans by cancelling the concert.

"I am SO sorry Jack, if there's anything I can do-"

I interrupted him. "There is one thing," I pointed out.

He turned to look at me.  "Name it."

"Well..." I began.

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CLIFFHANGER MUAHAHAHAHHA XD

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