crimes.

him.

him; 

                "I hate what I've become
                       The nightmare's just begun."

                                      - Skillet, Monster

         The grass beneath me gets crushed as I walk further and further into the lawn. Night was falling, the moon peaking it's way through the smokey clouds. It was kinda of a fufilling sensation as the moon enlightened me much more than the bright rays of the gleaming sun. Maybe because it fits me, as a person, more than the sun ever does anymore.

      When I was younger, I remember being afraid of the night and what lurked in it. The fog would raise off the nearby river and it terrified me. I prayed that the sun would show itself faster than I could say 'please', but I would end up falling asleep and not being able to see the sun raise for a glorious morning. But that was before the tragedy hit and I found that monsters were dumb and I was dumber. I felt the need to become one, but ended up becoming below them somehow.

      With my mother's disapointment, my popularity, graduating, and money, I feel as if no one understands that it doesn't just get to you, but it gets to you. It whispers in your ear and takes over your body at night. It taunts you as you walk alone, but as soon as your with someone it disappears. It vanishes until your alone again. It's a whole cycle and people wonder why I do what I do.

         Walking around the house, I listened to the people laughing and the stereo blasting. Opening the basements door, a storm of smoke whipped itself around me and into the midnight air. A cough escaped my throat as I walked down the steps.

         "Aye," Dan shouted from a far, his eyes red and his throat rough, "glad you could make it Mike!"

         "Danny, it's me, Lucas."

         "No, I'm pretty damn sure your Mike," He chuckled, patting my back as I rolled my eyes at him, "nice try, mate!"

          "Almost, Dan, almost!" I laughed along with him before he ran off with his friends. A sigh of relief left my body as I walked forward towards the group sitting on the worn out couch.

          "Lucas, hey man." Hunter threw his hand out. I cupped it, giving him our signature hug, before sitting down on the table.

           "How's life Hunts?" I asked as I watched him light his cigeratte.

           "Lucy, man, she ditched me for the richer," He sighed, taking a drag from his cigeratte before handing it to me. I denied his request, shrugging his shoulders in response.

            "She was trash anyways," I admitted, licking my chapped lips.

             "How about you?" Hunter bent down as the girl wrapped around him left him, "Commited yet?"

             "Got one yesterday," I lifted my hand out asking for the cigeratte. He smirked at me placing it in my hand, patting my on the back as I took a drag.

               "One," Hunter laughed, "well, you're getting closer."

               "Closer to what? Finding the right one, settling down. Please, that's all I need in life right now." I shook my head, taking another drag, "Settling down."

               "Buddy, listen, you have a whole life to look forward to. Why waste it down here?"

                "Because I got no where to go," I spoke the truth, flicking the ashes off behind me before leaning it against my lips again.

               "Why can't you apologize to your mom?" He asked, taking out another cigeratte as he finished his sentence.

                  "I ruined her life. How do you apologize for something like that?" I asked back, shouting as the music got louder.

                     "You just do it."

                      I placed the cigeratte behind me. With nicotine and other chemicals that filled the air tonight in my lungs, I felt a lot more better. After I would fill myself up with different mixtures of lusting chemicals, I felt as if the demon taking over was tamed for a little. I could finally be free until an hour or so when I had to refill myself back up. And I know either way I would end up dead, but I would rather die with drug overdose than suicide.

                     "Mike!"

  ✗✗✗

                    "Have you ever talked to a cat?" Dan asked, leaning back further into the couch. Half of the people were gone now, the sun would be rising in a few more hours, and I had to make it home before school marked me absent.

                    "No, buddy, I haven't."

                    "Aw, man!" He whined, then began to nod his head back and forth. Soon he went on about how he talked to a cat and ended up taking it home. His mother didn't accept the -- what Dan called -- 'very-very-very late birthday present'.  He ended up crying about, the cat, Suzie. Yep, he even told me how to spell it more than once.

                     "Hey Dan, I got to go. I'll see you later man." I laughed as he finished his sentence. I went to step forward when Dan grabbed my hand. I furrowed my eyebrows and looked down at him.

                  "I love you, dude."

                  "I love you too..." I faded off, trying to hide a smile, "dude."

                  He smiled and began waving as I walked off. I rolled my eyes as I went back up to the real world where soon I would have to face reality and go to public school. Shivering at the thought, I began to walk home where I knew my mother sat patiently waiting for me to return.

✗✗✗

           "Dude, where were you yesterday? Everyone is talking about what happened between you and Hannah!" Jacob explained as I walked to my locker. My dark ray bans hid away the blood shot eyes I had discovered as I left this morning.

               I shook my head, "Hannah?"

              "Hannah Osborne? Junior queen!"

             "Wait, she goes here? She's still in school!"

              "Wait, you actually did do it! Go Lu--"

               "Oh god, oh god, I'm so stupid!" I took my sunglasses off, rubbing my sore eyes. Jacob came up behind me, patting me on the back.

              "Never could believe you'd tap that."

              "This isn't funny!" I shouted at him, eyes turning towards us as my words echoed down the hall. Jacob's eyes went wide and I slowly forgot that my sunglasses were off.

              "Were you smoking?"

               "Damnit!" I shouted, pushing Jacob away from me. Storming down the hallway, the steam inside of me started to bubble up. My hands turned into fist, my right fist flying to the metal lockers.

                "Ah!" I screamed, my hand now leaking blood from the knuckles.

                I marched out of the school pissed off. My reputation was now burn down into nothing.

                All because she said she was in college.

----

a/n aye, dont really like this chapter but moments with lucas and anna are coming so dont burst your bubble yet.

with how much i like this, i may update more than twice this week.

mwah!

- A