Deadly Secrets

Chapter 16

My eyes snapped open with sudden force. White spots danced before my eyes as I tried to gather my bearings. I was no longer in pain, nor was I in the forest. I gingerly sat up and ran my hands along the white sheets on my bed. How had I made it back to my room? I looked down at myself for the first time. Cuts ran along my arms, dirt was caked under my finger nails and splotched my skin. My feet were cut too and bruised. I was a mess. I glanced at my clock on the bedside table; it was just after five in the morning. I managed to get to my feet, slumping into the bathroom I started the shower. My reflection was gruesome: twigs and leaves were tangled into my hair and soil covered my face. Peeling off my tank top and shorts that clung to my body like a second skin, I stepped into the hot shower and scrubbed. I watched the muddied water swirl down the drain.

Eleanor.

What was going on with me? I knew it had something to do with Mao. My muscles and joints ached and the cuts stung. I wrapped my arms around myself trying to keep in the heat.

This is who you are, Eleanor.

I squeezed shut my eyes and tried to tune out her voice. I never asked for this, I never wanted this. It wasn't fair, why did I have to go through so much pain? Because I'm a Neter? Well I don't want it, take it back! I felt, more than heard Mao sigh.

I am sorry Eleanor, but this is your burden to bare. You are not just a Neter or a simple teenage girl. You are much more, the sooner you realize this the easier it will all be.

I stepped out of the shower and wrapped myself in towel. I sat down on the tiled floor with my back against the wall. I don't want to be more, I want to be me, just Eleanor Bast. I want my mother and father back with me. I don't want Leo and me to be orphans. I sure as hell didn't want to go to school, let alone see Tristan. The last thing I wanted to do was see Tristan.

What you want and what you need are two different things. Tell me what you need Eleanor.

I scratched my shoulder in irritation. What I needed was a new body. I shifted my back so it stretched against the full length of the wall. I blew gently on the stinging cuts along my arms and feet. I arched my neck and heard it crack at the stiffness. "You broke me," I complained out loud.

I can give you that.

Almost immediately my muscles in my legs started to spasm. I sucked in a sharp breath. Not now, I have to go to school soon! Also, this crap hurts! The spasms stopped and I slouched against the wall. Whether I liked it or not I had to go to school. I quickly grabbed some jeans and a plain black tank top that showed off a bit of cleavage. Okay so it was a lot cleavage, you could clearly see the top of my breasts. It was a bit slutty for a Wednesday, but I didn't care. Looping a white belt through my jeans it pulled attention to my hips. I clasped the crescent moon necklace once again around my neck and rested in the space between my breasts.

Simple. I like it.

I picked up Sky and sat on the edge of the bed. I rubbed his face against mine while he purred.

“Thanks for guiding me last night little guy.” He meowed and I set him down. I looked at the picture of my parents and stared intently. I could almost hear my mother telling me to get my act together. What was it she used to say? Oh, she'd tell me to be brave. Even if I wasn’t, pretend to be, no one can tell the difference. It was like a light bulb went on and I came to a conclusion. I glanced at the clock, it was 7:30 am now. I heard the grumble of an engine outside the window. I grabbed my shoulder bag and checked to make sure Bryn's shoes were tucked inside. I descended the stairs quickly and was about to race out the door when Jane caught my elbow.