The Gods Just Went Ninja! (Naruto Fanfic)

Prolouge

Jashin's POV

I sighed at Kami's excited personality, she was basically bouncing off the walls. I glanced down at the large table in front of us, which currently had the shinobi world map on it with life signals floating around.

"Kuso. Another one gone." I snarled as held my arm up in frustration.

"Awwww Jashin it is okay." Kami cooed at Death pearched on my shoulder, his crow form shown instead of his normal cloaked figure.

"Hatake Sakumo will commite suicide in a year. One human week in hell then send him to heaven for the rest of eternity." I informed him as he cawed and disapeared.

"I'm bored!~" Kami whined as I winded and glared at her.

"What? Do you expect us to go down to Konohagakure and then become shinobi? Growing up with Uchiha Obito and Hatake Kakashi then stopping the future from its endless cycle?" I scolded her as I slowly realised why she was bored.

"Yeah! Lets go!" She yelled and grabbed me, jumping into the table and landing in the Hokage office.

"KAMI!" I shrieked at her as ANBU appeared, causing me to summon my gun and aiming it at the nearest ANBU. Kami held onto my arm as I snarled.

"I dare you. I fucking dare you Aoishi Taruyo." I hissed as the ANBU with a gekko mask froze up in shock.

"H-How?-" He whispered in shock as I shot Tora mask.

"Sarutobi Hiruzen." I snarled catching his attention. "Send your little dogs away while I talk to you. Kage to Kami."

He gasped in shock and quickly sent away his dogs.

"Kami-Sama. Jashin-Sama. What do you need?" He asked as he bowed, his body slightly shaking.

"We were bored Hiru-Chan! So we want to become shinobi and change the future for once!" Kami cheerfully explained as I frowned and looked off to the side, blushing in embarrassment.

"The baka threw me into this plan..." I muttered in anger. Hiruzen looked up and smiled.

"Of course. But I am afraid you must appear younger and change your names." He kindly told us as I silently raged.

"EXCUSE ME!?" I bellowed in anger. "I KAMI NO JASHIN SHALL NOT SEEM YOUNGER OR OLDER NOR CHANGE MY NAME YOU PATHETIC FOOL!"

"Jashin. Just turn the same age as Kaka. No need to change your name." Kami calmed me as Hiruzen shook from my killing intent.

"Fine." I snarled as Kami talked to Hiruzen.

'Stupid Hiruzen. Thinking he can order me around. I should gut him then-' I was cut out of my thoughts by an annoying woman child.

"Lets go!" Kami cheered as she poofed into a younger version of herself, me following like Jiraiya after a hot spring.

"Nani?" I whispered as Kami dragged me off, towards the academy.

I blinked as Kami brought us infront of a classroom. A tall man with strange hair opened the door.

Umino Ikkaku, husband to Umino Kohari and father to Umino Iruka

"Ohayo. You are the girls?" He asked with a smile. Kami was about to answer, till I cut her off.

"Nuuuu! We 're Irish Leprecorns sent 'ere to steal ye gold!" I sarcasticly drawled in a tick irish accent.

Kami bursted out laughing as did another boy near the back.

Uchiha Obito

"Oh... uh in you come." He awkwardly told us as Kami skipped inside.

"Introduce yourselves." He told us as everyone leaned in.

"Ohayo! Watashi wa Kami. I like Jashin-Chan and the sun. I dislike evil and.... a old fuck ("GASSSPPPP SHE SWORE! IT IS THE END OF THE WORLDS!") Shut up Jashin-Chan! My hobbies are watching and my dream... to rule the world!" She introduced with a quick little chirp.

"Watashi wa Jashin. I like the dark and the moon. I dislike to much light and sour sweets. Hobbies are.... collecting things. Dreams are not for the dead nor immortal. Only for the living and the breathing." I introduced myself as Obito perked up at me.

"Are you an Uchiha!?" He yelled at me as I blinked.

"No you stupid brat."

"Any questiones for the girls?" Ikkaku asked as hands flew into the air.

"Yes Rin?" Ikkaku pointed to he brown haired girl with purple squares on her face.

Nohara Rin. To be killed by Hatake Kakashi due to not wishing to be a Jinjuuriki

"D-Do you like anyone in this room?" She asked with a bright blush. I blanked as Kami squealed quietly, causing glares from all the girls.

"I love Jashin-Chan!~" She squealed as she side tackled me.

I sighed and pushed her off. "Go to hell and say hello to Madara." I hissed.

"I do not like any male nor female in this classroom. If I did have to pick it would be Kami since she is my age." I told them as I held my head up and glared.

"Uchiha Obito." Ikkaku pointed as I sighed again.

"U-Um..." He muttered with a small blush. "Do you think... I could be Hokage?" He asked with a small blush as everyone began to laugh.

"No." I bluntly stated as his world seemed to crash. "You will become similar to a god in power. Wisdom... not so much."

His world seemed to come back tenfold as he blushed bright red. Kami quietly squealed and launched herself at him.

"Kawaii!" She squealed as everyone paused.

"Kami. Return." I ordered as she pouted.

"We shall be going. See you tomorrow." I told the class as me and Kami disapeared, appearing in the Forrest Of Death or... FOD.

"... So Zestu is cute." Kami stated randomly as I turned red.

"S-Shut up!" I snarled as she cackled.

"JASHIN AND ZESTU SITTING IN A TREE! K-I-S-S-I-N-G! FIRST COMES LOVE THEN COMES MARRIAGE THEN COMES THE BABY IN THE CARRIAGE!" She cackled madly as I fumed.

"I SHIP OBIKAMI!" I screamed at her as she shrieked and ran at me.